Life is Good

I don't know what else to say except Life Is Good. I don't know quite what happened, but it's like I was reborn! Okay, not quite that extreme, but I am feeling like my "old self" again, only a new old self. Does that make sense? Well, let me explain...

I am not doubt a different woman than I was 4 years ago. A lot can happen in 4 years. Some of it good, some of it bad, but hopefully you learn from it all. It is no secret that my running has really taken a downward spiral the last few years. It was just so hard to be happy with my performances and very frustrating to not be able to perform at the level I thought I should be at. I am not sure what changed in the last few months, but I am most certainly on my way back.

It all started about a month ago when I started to realize that I was running- running hard- with no breathing spasms. I was hitting times and reps that weren't possible for the past two years. I tried not to think about it too much because I never knew how long it would last. Then a couple of weeks ago I did a GREAT workout. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't my best workout ever, but it was my best workout in a loooooong time. Even my coach, Dennis, was stunned. This just fed the fire for me and I kept it rolling.

I ran the Minnesota Mile up in Duluth and even though I am not a miler, I held my own with the big guns...at least for 3/4 of a mile! I knew they were toying with me at the start, but it was nice to have company in an event that is no longer one of my strong suits. I got dropped like a lead cannonball once they hit 1/4 to go but sucked it up, laughed a little, and still came home in a 4:53. Not great, but I will take it. At least another confidence booster.

Last weekend I went to Providence, RI to run a race that has been on my calendar for years- the CVS 5k US Championships. Admittedly, the 5k is now a short race for me. But, it is also a distance the evokes fear and uncertainty because this is the distance that first exposed my breathing weaknesses a few years back. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but I was slightly more confident knowing that I had been doing a lot of tough workouts without any breathing troubles recently. The race went out hard via Julie Culley and I hung in there in the 4-6 place range. We hit the first mile in 5 flat but I was feeling fine and knew I just had to push it for 2 more miles. Nothing really changed in the last 2 miles of the race. It definitely started to get into my legs and my finish wasn't very strong, but I was glad to hold on for a 3rd place finish and a sub-16 minute time- two things I haven't accomplished in a long time.

I love winning, don't get me wrong, but I am so proud of this performance. I hope to keep the good times rolling through the US 10 mile championships on Oct. 2nd and the US 10k championships on Oct. 8. After that, this girl will be taking a well-deserved break and reflecting on the good times life can bring if you are patient and never lose hope.

Headed for the Fall

This is my 5th summer/fall as a professional runner and I have yet to run the major fall road championships: the 5k in Providence, the 10k in Boston, and of course the 10 mile in my own backyard. Injury or illness has always kept me sidelined during this portion of the year, sitting in a cafe watching the live streams over the internet. This year I hope to change that. I am healthy, I am fit, and I am looking to do some damage on the road circuit this year. Just have to hold out for two more months!

I had what I would consider to be a pretty good race at Falmouth. The conditions were quite humid, but luckily overcast so it was somewhat bearable. The course was challenging, which is right up my alley seeing as I have not really developed much speed yet. I ran confidently, not placing myself in the back just because I thought that is where I should be. I was aggressive and raced down to the very end and was bested by an impressive fighter in Kim Conley. Overall I reached my goal of finishing in the top 10 overall (6) and I am proud to have finished among the top 5 Americans (4). Would I say I am "back" yet? Probably not, but I feel as though I am on the way there. This race is definitely what I needed to head into the fall road season.

This weekend I will be headed down to Owatonna, MN with teammate Heather Kampf. We will be running in the Owatonna Rotary/Steele County Free Fair 4-Mile Run. Proceeds from this event will be used to provide scholarship opportunities for Owatonna High School Seniors through a "Strive Program" sponsored by the Owatonna Rotary. I am very excited to have the opportunity to run in a race giving back to the state of Minnesota itself and helping invest in the future of promising young students. Although it is just for fun, I hope to use this race as a solid workout to build off of the work I did last weekend. So here's to keeping the wheels rolling!

Falmouth

I can't remember the last time I had such a great week of running. It isn't that the times are extremely fast or the quality is amazing, but it is just the way I feel. For the first time in years, I feel STRONG again, and with that comes confidence, and with that comes success. We often forget how large a role our mental state plays in our athletic endeavors. For me, it all starts with happiness. When I am happy with myself and my life (for the most part), I am in a better state of mind for training and racing. A better state of mind leads to a better workout and multiple good workouts leads to growing confidence. Growing confidence leads to a runner that truly believes they are unstoppable. These runners are the hardest to beat. I am finally getting back to becoming that runner.

Tomorrow I head out to Falmouth, MA for the New Balance Falmouth Road Race. There is a lot of money on the line and a lot of good competition. And like any true racer, I cannot wait to toe the line! The race is 7 miles and I think that is a really good distance for me right now. I have had a couple of good 10ks, a good 8k, so I think I am ready to roll. I hope to have good news to report on Monday. But I guess I should be satisfied in the good news of today- I feel like a runner again :)

E-racing Doubt

I am pretty good with lame puns. They just pop in my head and I think they are really creative until I write them down. Then, not so much. But this is my blog so I have to be true to who I am :)

Yes, it was been another long spell since the last blog entry. I am happy to report that my track season ended quite well. I raced the 10k at the US Championships and left the race with a new PR, an 11th place finish, and a burning desire to be there again. It was a strong race for me but I know I have much more. The best and worst thing that happened was crossing the line at 33:00.74. So close to the 32's! I attest that I would have broken 33 if the race clock was still running and visible to me, but the truth is it is better to be left where I am. I need reason to really go after the 10k next year and had I been in the 32's, I may be tempted to just leave it how it is.

I have had a fairly good summer road season thus far. Just one hiccup of a race that luckily didn't set my back too far. This past weekend I ran in the Boston Scientific Heart of Summer 10k in Minneapolis. A lot of my friends and teammates were in the race or on the roads cheering so it was nice to have that support. The race was tough for everyone. Times were slow in a field of runners that have ran much faster. I was ready to cash it in around mile 4 when it really started getting tough. Doubt stayed in my mind up until about 3 minutes to go when I decided to see how hard I could push. I didn't want to be a quitter and I didn't want doubt to take over my racing. So I pushed it aside and finished strong in 2nd place. It is a big deal to me because I started having confidence in myself again. I have to accept that things aren't going to come as easy as they used to but I can still be a strong and confident racer if I put in 100% and get rid of the doubt.

We have been running in so very tropical conditions the last few weeks and it has not been fun. Very hard on the body, especially for someone like me that is having breathing issues. But I persevere! My workouts have been horrible, but Dennis says I am still getting in good work. Just gotta make it through the summer. Next up will be the Falmouth Road Race in August. Not sure after that, so be sure to check back!

Freihofer's

Turns out I am not as good at updating my blog as I thought I would be. Makes sense though, considering how long it has taken me to complete even the first draft of my thesis. Trust me, I have great ideas running through my head everyday, I just don't put them down into words and by the time I work up the motivation to do so, the moment has past.

It would be boring and irrelevant to discuss my races of the past month because, well, they happened in the past month! So no, I won't drone on about how I set a 1 minute PR at the Bloomsday 12k on May 1st. It is no longer a big deal that 2 weeks later I decided to jump in to the US 25k championships in Grand Rapids, MI where I got my butt handed to me by my 47 year old roommate (and 4-time Olympian, just to clarify), among other athletes that put me in my place. Two weeks after that, I watched one of my current teammates get married to one of my former teammates in a beautiful spring wedding in Minnesota. And two weeks after that, there was Freihofer's.

People asked me, "Oh hey, when did you decide to run Freihofer's?" "Um, I didn't know I was." "Well, I just saw your picture and profile on the press release of elite runners racing the 5k." "Huh. Well I guess I just decided now. I will be running the Freihofer's Run for Women 5k on June 4th."

Not that I was never thinking about doing the race, I just never expressed my full intent to race it until someone else (still a mystery who) did it for me. And I thank that person- this was a really great weekend. Some of the best hospitality I have even encountered at a race. King size bed in the hotel (74 State in Albany, NY- really cute, right in the middle of downtown), 3 meals a day that were just AMAZING, and all the Freihofer's baked goods one could ever need. I had to remind myself that I was there to race!

However, Freihofer's is about more than the race, it is about giving back to the community. I had the opportunity to go speak at St. Ambrose School to students from kindergarten up through 8th grade. They were so cute, respectful, and energetic and I was amazed by how many questions they had. It was a lot of fun and it is experiences like these that remind us athletes that were are more than just people who play sports. We can inspire and make a difference in the lives of others. I hope to have more opportunities like these.

Oh yeah, so the race itself: went surprisingly well! I haven't run a 5k in a long time due to my breathing issues. The breathing was actually pretty good, however I wasn't really running at what my normal 5k pace would be.  I ran 16:25 which was pretty awesome at this point in my training, but I wouldn't call that 5k pace- more like 10k pace, which would be good if I can do that twice in a few weeks! The big reason I was so surprised was because I had a bum knee going into the race. I could barely run without limping and wincing from the pain. I tried to do a stride the day before and failed miserably. It was not looking good for the race. But, when the horn went off I just stayed conservative and tried to stay in my comfort zone. I had a few tweaks here and there but otherwise felt really strong. I ran a negative-split race and even caught a few people while doing it. I am pretty happy, but I do need to get this knee worked on and get ready for the big show out in Eugene in a few weeks.

Run a 10k on the track- check

I have known for a few years now that I would eventually do a 10k on the track...I just didn't know it would take this long. It had been a very long time since I ran a race on the track and I was starting to doubt whether I would ever make it back. It hasn't been an easy two years for me and my hardships in running were beginning to take a toll on me not only physically, but emotionally. This past summer and fall were especially hard until I finally recognized that I was fighting a losing battle against depression. It is never easy for someone like me to admit that they are sick, injured, or need help. I like to keep things to myself and take care of things myself, but doing that was only digging a deeper hole. So I sucked it up, asked for some help and got it. With that I took on a new attitude and outlook on life. We can't change the past, we can't live in the past, and we can't always control the things that happen to us. But we can control how we respond to those things and the attitude we have towards them.

The theme so far this spring has been "a whole new me," which is actually kind of a misnomer because it isn't exactly that I am a different person, I am just seeing myself for who I am really am and letting that come through to those around me. I think I was trying to hard to be who I thought I was supposed to be, who I thought people wanted me to be. Or maybe I was trying hard just not to be noticed because when people don't notice you, they don't expect things from you and you can't really disappoint them. But that is no way to live. I have too much to offer and it is time that I start showing that side of me. In my running career I constantly reflect on the breakout season I had in 2008 and how I wish I could just get back to being that runner. The truth is, that runner is part of my past and I can't go backwards, I can only look ahead. Yes, I was a great runner then. But I have done a lot of growing from that time both as a runner and as a person. I shouldn't want to go back but rather I should focus on who I am now and the things I can do to become a better me. Like I said, there are things in my life that I probably can't change. The best I can do is accept them with a positive attitude and a determination to make the best out of what life has given me. By adopting this new attitude over the past couple months I have become a MUCH happier person and I think that has had a dramatic impact on my training and racing. My relationships with my friends are also much stronger and my confidence in my self and my abilities is starting to grow back. I don't expect it to be all peachy from here on out, but I am excited to see what life brings next.

Oh yeah, about that race! I was a bit nervous, but actually felt really good and positive going into it. I knew what I had to do to get the qualifying time for USA's and that was honestly my only goal. Race conditions were perfect, I listened to my coaches about going out easy, and I have to admit I owned that race! I couldn't believe how steady I was able to remain ticking off the laps in identical times. I felt really under control for the first time in a long time. Not going to lie, the second 5k was substantially harder, but I was still able to hold the same pace which was very encouraging. The old me showed a little bit after the race when I was happy, but didn't want to act like I was overjoyed. There is still a lot of work to be done and a lot of time to drop. But, what I have learned over the past 2 years is that you have to give yourself credit even for the small stuff. So I will- I am going to pat myself on the back and say "great race!" Considering what the past 2 years have been like, I really have to be happy with what I was able to do out there. Now I just hope I can keep the same attitude and keep it rolling. And a huge thank you to all of my "coaches" out on the track that night. I had no less that 6 people out there giving me splits, directions, and encouragement. I was never running alone out there and I could not have done it without you guys! :) So here's to track and field 2011- let's do work and get after it!

Gearing up for 10k!

At this time last year I was still running some 10k's, only they were on the roads. It has been a very long time since I have competed in a track race, and for good reason. Ever since April 2009, I have had major breathing difficulties on the track that more often than not made me feel as if I was going to blackout if I didn't stop running immediately. Not only did these attacks diminish my confidence as a runner, they also made me fear for my health. Nonetheless, I started avoiding the track like it was the plague. I am afraid now that I have developed a mental aversion to the track and I will never be able to race on it again. I am hoping to change that all this week as I make my debut in the 10k on the track at the Mt. SAC relays on Thursday night.

Over the past few months I have been very consistent with my training, which goes a long way in improving my fitness. My workout plans have been a bit different than that of my teammates, with me focusing more on improving my threshold vs. working on speed. My lungs just can't handle that really intense stuff yet. However, I did drop two sub-5:00 miles on the track about a month ago! I was pretty happy with that considering I had done NO speed work til then :) My breathing has steadily been improving and I am bringing my threshold pace down week by week. I have been doing a lot of pace work for the 10k and am going into the race this week just hoping to run a US Championships qualifier (33:40). I would like to run about a minute faster than that, but in due time. The main objective is making the meet and getting myself comfortable with the track again.

After Mt. SAC I will be headed out to Spokane for the Bloomsday 12k road race. I did this race last year and really had a good time. The field is pretty outstanding and it is a very well organized and directed meet. Plus Spokane is gorgeous this time of year. I am pretty excited about the upcoming month and hope that this spring will bring about some rejuvenation in my running career. I know I am a talented athlete and I have been putting in the work and the miles, I just need my body to start agreeing with me and not be discouraged if I am not exactly where I want to be. As long as I am headed there, I am happy.

Thanks for all the support from all of my friends, family and fans. I hope to have a good showing for you all out on the track this week and in all my races to come. We all go through setbacks in life; some minor, some major. I hope to be a testament to the fact that you can come through it all with a smile and a white-hot fire inside to make up for lost time and be better than ever before ;).