This Is The Way I Live

Life is Good

2011-09-22T11:23:00.000-07:00

I don't know what else to say except Life Is Good. I don't know quite what happened, but it's like I was reborn! Okay, not quite that extreme, but I am feeling like my "old self" again, only a new old self. Does that make sense? Well, let me explain...

I am not doubt a different woman than I was 4 years ago. A lot can happen in 4 years. Some of it good, some of it bad, but hopefully you learn from it all. It is no secret that my running has really taken a downward spiral the last few years. It was just so hard to be happy with my performances and very frustrating to not be able to perform at the level I thought I should be at. I am not sure what changed in the last few months, but I am most certainly on my way back.

It all started about a month ago when I started to realize that I was running- running hard- with no breathing spasms. I was hitting times and reps that weren't possible for the past two years. I tried not to think about it too much because I never knew how long it would last. Then a couple of weeks ago I did a GREAT workout. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't my best workout ever, but it was my best workout in a loooooong time. Even my coach, Dennis, was stunned. This just fed the fire for me and I kept it rolling.

I ran the Minnesota Mile up in Duluth and even though I am not a miler, I held my own with the big guns...at least for 3/4 of a mile! I knew they were toying with me at the start, but it was nice to have company in an event that is no longer one of my strong suits. I got dropped like a lead cannonball once they hit 1/4 to go but sucked it up, laughed a little, and still came home in a 4:53. Not great, but I will take it. At least another confidence booster.

Last weekend I went to Providence, RI to run a race that has been on my calendar for years- the CVS 5k US Championships. Admittedly, the 5k is now a short race for me. But, it is also a distance the evokes fear and uncertainty because this is the distance that first exposed my breathing weaknesses a few years back. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but I was slightly more confident knowing that I had been doing a lot of tough workouts without any breathing troubles recently. The race went out hard via Julie Culley and I hung in there in the 4-6 place range. We hit the first mile in 5 flat but I was feeling fine and knew I just had to push it for 2 more miles. Nothing really changed in the last 2 miles of the race. It definitely started to get into my legs and my finish wasn't very strong, but I was glad to hold on for a 3rd place finish and a sub-16 minute time- two things I haven't accomplished in a long time.

I love winning, don't get me wrong, but I am so proud of this performance. I hope to keep the good times rolling through the US 10 mile championships on Oct. 2nd and the US 10k championships on Oct. 8. After that, this girl will be taking a well-deserved break and reflecting on the good times life can bring if you are patient and never lose hope.

Headed for the Fall

2011-08-18T05:35:00.000-07:00

This is my 5th summer/fall as a professional runner and I have yet to run the major fall road championships: the 5k in Providence, the 10k in Boston, and of course the 10 mile in my own backyard. Injury or illness has always kept me sidelined during this portion of the year, sitting in a cafe watching the live streams over the internet. This year I hope to change that. I am healthy, I am fit, and I am looking to do some damage on the road circuit this year. Just have to hold out for two more months!

I had what I would consider to be a pretty good race at Falmouth. The conditions were quite humid, but luckily overcast so it was somewhat bearable. The course was challenging, which is right up my alley seeing as I have not really developed much speed yet. I ran confidently, not placing myself in the back just because I thought that is where I should be. I was aggressive and raced down to the very end and was bested by an impressive fighter in Kim Conley. Overall I reached my goal of finishing in the top 10 overall (6) and I am proud to have finished among the top 5 Americans (4). Would I say I am "back" yet? Probably not, but I feel as though I am on the way there. This race is definitely what I needed to head into the fall road season.

This weekend I will be headed down to Owatonna, MN with teammate Heather Kampf. We will be running in the Owatonna Rotary/Steele County Free Fair 4-Mile Run. Proceeds from this event will be used to provide scholarship opportunities for Owatonna High School Seniors through a "Strive Program" sponsored by the Owatonna Rotary. I am very excited to have the opportunity to run in a race giving back to the state of Minnesota itself and helping invest in the future of promising young students. Although it is just for fun, I hope to use this race as a solid workout to build off of the work I did last weekend. So here's to keeping the wheels rolling!

Falmouth

2011-08-11T10:39:00.000-07:00

I can't remember the last time I had such a great week of running. It isn't that the times are extremely fast or the quality is amazing, but it is just the way I feel. For the first time in years, I feel STRONG again, and with that comes confidence, and with that comes success. We often forget how large a role our mental state plays in our athletic endeavors. For me, it all starts with happiness. When I am happy with myself and my life (for the most part), I am in a better state of mind for training and racing. A better state of mind leads to a better workout and multiple good workouts leads to growing confidence. Growing confidence leads to a runner that truly believes they are unstoppable. These runners are the hardest to beat. I am finally getting back to becoming that runner.

Tomorrow I head out to Falmouth, MA for the New Balance Falmouth Road Race. There is a lot of money on the line and a lot of good competition. And like any true racer, I cannot wait to toe the line! The race is 7 miles and I think that is a really good distance for me right now. I have had a couple of good 10ks, a good 8k, so I think I am ready to roll. I hope to have good news to report on Monday. But I guess I should be satisfied in the good news of today- I feel like a runner again :)

E-racing Doubt

2011-07-26T09:04:00.000-07:00

I am pretty good with lame puns. They just pop in my head and I think they are really creative until I write them down. Then, not so much. But this is my blog so I have to be true to who I am :)

Yes, it was been another long spell since the last blog entry. I am happy to report that my track season ended quite well. I raced the 10k at the US Championships and left the race with a new PR, an 11th place finish, and a burning desire to be there again. It was a strong race for me but I know I have much more. The best and worst thing that happened was crossing the line at 33:00.74. So close to the 32's! I attest that I would have broken 33 if the race clock was still running and visible to me, but the truth is it is better to be left where I am. I need reason to really go after the 10k next year and had I been in the 32's, I may be tempted to just leave it how it is.

I have had a fairly good summer road season thus far. Just one hiccup of a race that luckily didn't set my back too far. This past weekend I ran in the Boston Scientific Heart of Summer 10k in Minneapolis. A lot of my friends and teammates were in the race or on the roads cheering so it was nice to have that support. The race was tough for everyone. Times were slow in a field of runners that have ran much faster. I was ready to cash it in around mile 4 when it really started getting tough. Doubt stayed in my mind up until about 3 minutes to go when I decided to see how hard I could push. I didn't want to be a quitter and I didn't want doubt to take over my racing. So I pushed it aside and finished strong in 2nd place. It is a big deal to me because I started having confidence in myself again. I have to accept that things aren't going to come as easy as they used to but I can still be a strong and confident racer if I put in 100% and get rid of the doubt.

We have been running in so very tropical conditions the last few weeks and it has not been fun. Very hard on the body, especially for someone like me that is having breathing issues. But I persevere! My workouts have been horrible, but Dennis says I am still getting in good work. Just gotta make it through the summer. Next up will be the Falmouth Road Race in August. Not sure after that, so be sure to check back!

Freihofer's

2011-06-06T06:33:00.000-07:00

Turns out I am not as good at updating my blog as I thought I would be. Makes sense though, considering how long it has taken me to complete even the first draft of my thesis. Trust me, I have great ideas running through my head everyday, I just don't put them down into words and by the time I work up the motivation to do so, the moment has past.

It would be boring and irrelevant to discuss my races of the past month because, well, they happened in the past month! So no, I won't drone on about how I set a 1 minute PR at the Bloomsday 12k on May 1st. It is no longer a big deal that 2 weeks later I decided to jump in to the US 25k championships in Grand Rapids, MI where I got my butt handed to me by my 47 year old roommate (and 4-time Olympian, just to clarify), among other athletes that put me in my place. Two weeks after that, I watched one of my current teammates get married to one of my former teammates in a beautiful spring wedding in Minnesota. And two weeks after that, there was Freihofer's.

People asked me, "Oh hey, when did you decide to run Freihofer's?" "Um, I didn't know I was." "Well, I just saw your picture and profile on the press release of elite runners racing the 5k." "Huh. Well I guess I just decided now. I will be running the Freihofer's Run for Women 5k on June 4th."

Not that I was never thinking about doing the race, I just never expressed my full intent to race it until someone else (still a mystery who) did it for me. And I thank that person- this was a really great weekend. Some of the best hospitality I have even encountered at a race. King size bed in the hotel (74 State in Albany, NY- really cute, right in the middle of downtown), 3 meals a day that were just AMAZING, and all the Freihofer's baked goods one could ever need. I had to remind myself that I was there to race!

However, Freihofer's is about more than the race, it is about giving back to the community. I had the opportunity to go speak at St. Ambrose School to students from kindergarten up through 8th grade. They were so cute, respectful, and energetic and I was amazed by how many questions they had. It was a lot of fun and it is experiences like these that remind us athletes that were are more than just people who play sports. We can inspire and make a difference in the lives of others. I hope to have more opportunities like these.

Oh yeah, so the race itself: went surprisingly well! I haven't run a 5k in a long time due to my breathing issues. The breathing was actually pretty good, however I wasn't really running at what my normal 5k pace would be. I ran 16:25 which was pretty awesome at this point in my training, but I wouldn't call that 5k pace- more like 10k pace, which would be good if I can do that twice in a few weeks! The big reason I was so surprised was because I had a bum knee going into the race. I could barely run without limping and wincing from the pain. I tried to do a stride the day before and failed miserably. It was not looking good for the race. But, when the horn went off I just stayed conservative and tried to stay in my comfort zone. I had a few tweaks here and there but otherwise felt really strong. I ran a negative-split race and even caught a few people while doing it. I am pretty happy, but I do need to get this knee worked on and get ready for the big show out in Eugene in a few weeks.

Run a 10k on the track- check

2011-04-21T08:24:00.000-07:00

I have known for a few years now that I would eventually do a 10k on the track...I just didn't know it would take this long. It had been a very long time since I ran a race on the track and I was starting to doubt whether I would ever make it back. It hasn't been an easy two years for me and my hardships in running were beginning to take a toll on me not only physically, but emotionally. This past summer and fall were especially hard until I finally recognized that I was fighting a losing battle against depression. It is never easy for someone like me to admit that they are sick, injured, or need help. I like to keep things to myself and take care of things myself, but doing that was only digging a deeper hole. So I sucked it up, asked for some help and got it. With that I took on a new attitude and outlook on life. We can't change the past, we can't live in the past, and we can't always control the things that happen to us. But we can control how we respond to those things and the attitude we have towards them.

The theme so far this spring has been "a whole new me," which is actually kind of a misnomer because it isn't exactly that I am a different person, I am just seeing myself for who I am really am and letting that come through to those around me. I think I was trying to hard to be who I thought I was supposed to be, who I thought people wanted me to be. Or maybe I was trying hard just not to be noticed because when people don't notice you, they don't expect things from you and you can't really disappoint them. But that is no way to live. I have too much to offer and it is time that I start showing that side of me. In my running career I constantly reflect on the breakout season I had in 2008 and how I wish I could just get back to being that runner. The truth is, that runner is part of my past and I can't go backwards, I can only look ahead. Yes, I was a great runner then. But I have done a lot of growing from that time both as a runner and as a person. I shouldn't want to go back but rather I should focus on who I am now and the things I can do to become a better me. Like I said, there are things in my life that I probably can't change. The best I can do is accept them with a positive attitude and a determination to make the best out of what life has given me. By adopting this new attitude over the past couple months I have become a MUCH happier person and I think that has had a dramatic impact on my training and racing. My relationships with my friends are also much stronger and my confidence in my self and my abilities is starting to grow back. I don't expect it to be all peachy from here on out, but I am excited to see what life brings next.

Oh yeah, about that race! I was a bit nervous, but actually felt really good and positive going into it. I knew what I had to do to get the qualifying time for USA's and that was honestly my only goal. Race conditions were perfect, I listened to my coaches about going out easy, and I have to admit I owned that race! I couldn't believe how steady I was able to remain ticking off the laps in identical times. I felt really under control for the first time in a long time. Not going to lie, the second 5k was substantially harder, but I was still able to hold the same pace which was very encouraging. The old me showed a little bit after the race when I was happy, but didn't want to act like I was overjoyed. There is still a lot of work to be done and a lot of time to drop. But, what I have learned over the past 2 years is that you have to give yourself credit even for the small stuff. So I will- I am going to pat myself on the back and say "great race!" Considering what the past 2 years have been like, I really have to be happy with what I was able to do out there. Now I just hope I can keep the same attitude and keep it rolling. And a huge thank you to all of my "coaches" out on the track that night. I had no less that 6 people out there giving me splits, directions, and encouragement. I was never running alone out there and I could not have done it without you guys! :) So here's to track and field 2011- let's do work and get after it!

Gearing up for 10k!

2011-04-11T07:36:00.000-07:00

At this time last year I was still running some 10k's, only they were on the roads. It has been a very long time since I have competed in a track race, and for good reason. Ever since April 2009, I have had major breathing difficulties on the track that more often than not made me feel as if I was going to blackout if I didn't stop running immediately. Not only did these attacks diminish my confidence as a runner, they also made me fear for my health. Nonetheless, I started avoiding the track like it was the plague. I am afraid now that I have developed a mental aversion to the track and I will never be able to race on it again. I am hoping to change that all this week as I make my debut in the 10k on the track at the Mt. SAC relays on Thursday night.

Over the past few months I have been very consistent with my training, which goes a long way in improving my fitness. My workout plans have been a bit different than that of my teammates, with me focusing more on improving my threshold vs. working on speed. My lungs just can't handle that really intense stuff yet. However, I did drop two sub-5:00 miles on the track about a month ago! I was pretty happy with that considering I had done NO speed work til then :) My breathing has steadily been improving and I am bringing my threshold pace down week by week. I have been doing a lot of pace work for the 10k and am going into the race this week just hoping to run a US Championships qualifier (33:40). I would like to run about a minute faster than that, but in due time. The main objective is making the meet and getting myself comfortable with the track again.

After Mt. SAC I will be headed out to Spokane for the Bloomsday 12k road race. I did this race last year and really had a good time. The field is pretty outstanding and it is a very well organized and directed meet. Plus Spokane is gorgeous this time of year. I am pretty excited about the upcoming month and hope that this spring will bring about some rejuvenation in my running career. I know I am a talented athlete and I have been putting in the work and the miles, I just need my body to start agreeing with me and not be discouraged if I am not exactly where I want to be. As long as I am headed there, I am happy.

Thanks for all the support from all of my friends, family and fans. I hope to have a good showing for you all out on the track this week and in all my races to come. We all go through setbacks in life; some minor, some major. I hope to be a testament to the fact that you can come through it all with a smile and a white-hot fire inside to make up for lost time and be better than ever before ;).

Same Old River Road

2011-03-15T19:36:00.000-07:00

Well this is an exciting week for me. While Dennis and Meghan are soaking up the sun in LA, I am dog-stting for Dennis and his wife out in good ol' Saint Paul. I can't think of a better place to be during St. Patrick's week. I kicked off the week by participating in the 100% Irish for the Day 10 mile put on by Twin Cities in Motion. Luckily Michelle was out there with me otherwise I might have turned around and went home with nobody being the wiser of it. I wasn't afraid of running 10 miles hard, I was afraid of the 30-40 mph wind gusts and ice/slush covered streets. Within moments of starting the warm-up, Michelle and I both agreed that it was definitely not a day to go chasing PR's (not like we were going to anyways)!

Once the race got going I realized that it was going to be miserable, but I wasn't feeling all that bad. My legs did ache from foolishly doing 3 sets of leg lifts earlier that week after not really lifting for a few months. My face was frozen, my exposed giant legs can't fit into my tights so my exposed ankles kept getting showered with freezing slush, and I was zig-zagging all over the road to avoid the ice patches. Running around Calhoun put me into a laughing fit because I couldn't believe how ridiculous it was that I was running uphill, through "mashed potatoes" snow, into a 30mph headwind. It was the perfect storm. But I fought on, step by step, mile by mile....Just kidding, I am not going to try to make this into some kind of epic story. It was a good, hard workout for me. Far off my best, and my breathing didn't hold up as well as I would have liked, but I finally finished a race and I guess technically won (if you only count me against the other women). I'll take it and I am thankful for the opportunity.

Now on to this week. Today I visited an old companion- the Mississippi River Road. I have been avoiding it for years because I have spent too many miles out there from my 5 years in college. Sure, I still do a bit of running on West River Pkwy- mainly hill repeats or measured threshold runs, but I try to avoid the East River Pkwy that was the site of much of my running in my younger years. There is another good reason why I avoid that side- I would say that roughly 70% of the time I am out there, I am stopped by a fellow trail user who is yelling something at me. I quickly stop, thinking something is wrong, and all they say is "Hey, check out that eagle!"

Same thing today. I am in the middle of doing a 6x5:00 minute threshold workout when some lady yells out from her drive way, "Hey, check out that eagle!" My response, "Awesome....uh, good find." Luckily I was on my rest interval at the time, but c'mon man, I'm doing a workout here! Don't get me wrong, eagles are pretty awesome...hands down my favorite bird of prey but seriously, it's not like we're talking about a lunar eclipse or something here. It's an eagle, let's move on. If eagles ever do go extinct, however, I will be recanting that statement.

All in all it was a good day. The workout wasn't fantastic, but it is done. Better still, we are finally in the 40's here and the snow is melting! It actually RAINED today! Of course, that still makes runs somewhat tricky between sliding on ice and getting soaked in puddles, but I am willing to put up with that for the spring to finally get here.

My Alter-G Experience

2011-03-10T12:22:00.000-08:00

It is a rarity, but today I actually made a wise decision in my training plan. Instead of running outdoors on a foot that is a little bit sore, I decided to give the anti-gravity (alter-g) treadmill a shot. Thanks to a sponsorship arrangement with OSR Physical Therapy in Eden Prairie, Team USA MN athletes are able to use the alter-g for injury recovery or just lower-impact running that helps increase mileage without stressing the body too much.

I had never used one of these machines before but I heard good things. I also had heard that it can be a bit awkward. They must have been referring to the "alter-g" shorts that are actually more like an adult-size diaper that inflates. I thought it was kind of cool, as long as you don't think about all the other runners that have sweat in those shorts. That reminds me, I should probably hop in the shower sooner than later today... But yeah, it was a really nice run. Not a whole lot different from running on a regular treadmill, just that you are raised up a bit making it easier to run faster! I was actually running at the body weight of a 100 pound woman and man, that was a nice experience. I haven't ran as a 100 pound woman since probably, well never. When I last weighed 100 pounds, I definitely was not a woman yet. And don't worry, I don't plan on trying to be 100 pound woman again. I think I would be living life from the grave at that point. Nonetheless, it was quite effective at removing some of the strain from my foot and I was able to run at a normal gait, pain free. I am really appreciative of this resource and definitely think I will be going back as I continue to ramp up my mileage. It may not be available for me sitting right in my garage, but we sure are lucky to have one so close to home.

I will be cheering my teammates on this weekend as they compete for individual and team titles in the US 15k Championships down in Jacksonville, FL. I raced there two years ago and had a fantastic time. The race director, Richard Fannin, is a great guy and very kind to all of us athletes. He also puts on a great race and I am sure Saturday will be no different. On a more somber note, I know that many athletes will be racing in memory of fellow runner Sally Meyerhoff who lost her life earlier this week in a cycling accident. An unfortunate reminder to all of us that we live in an imperfect world and even the simplest activities that we do day in and day out can end in tragedy. She will certainly be missed and will always run with us in our hearts.

Let's just pretend that didn't happen...

2011-02-26T05:57:00.000-08:00

Let's just pretend it hasn't been over two months since my last post and start from here. Sound good? Good.

February has sure flown by and has definitely had some high points and low points. I started the month off by traveling with my buddy and teammate Meghan down to the Olympic Training Center in Chula Vista (San Diego). We knew we wanted to go somewhere warm and run on roads that didn't have ice on them. Meghan had the great idea to check out the training center and she went though all of the work of getting us in there (thanks Meghan). It was really a great experience. The facilities there are amazing and it doesn't get any better than San Diego weather. We got in some really good training and got to spend some quality time with a few of the athletes from the Mammoth Track Club as well. I would definitely go back any time I get the chance.

The other reason for choosing San Diego was the fact that the US Cross Country Championships were being held there again. This site holds a special place in my heart as it is where I made my mark in my professional running career. Back in 2008 I was still virtually unknown and I was competing in my first US Championship. In my black shimmel purchased from Target and a random pair of black spandex, I managed to shock everybody, including myself, by taking 3rd place in a pretty stacked field. That led to me making my first World team, which I led to a 4th place finish and an individual 18th place finish.

I reflect back on this experience because I need to keep myself motivated and hopeful. My return to the Mission Bay course did not hold the same luster as the first time. I knew my breathing issues were still far from being controlled and two loops into the 4 loop course I had a breathing attack, causing me to stop the race. I tried to keep going, but every time I started it would get bad again and I was starting to get very dizzy. No use in finishing just to make a point- this race was going south, fast!

This was the first US Championship race I ever dropped out of and I HATE that! It left such a bad taste in my mouth. Trust me, the motivation to get back to my 2008 form is still there, I just keep getting frustrated by trying to overcome a physical issue that I cannot find the solution to. It is easier to give up hope because then the failures don't hurt as much, but I am too stubborn to do that. I will hold out hope as long as it takes because I know I am a talented runner and I have a lot more to give. I promise to keep trying my best to find my old self and to show the world once again just what I am capable of. Then I will say "Let's just pretend those last two years didn't happen..."

Did ya hear about da dome?

2010-12-14T12:13:00.000-08:00

All I can say is thank goodness I moved when I did. I was safely in my new abode when the December blizzard of 2010 fell upon us Minnesotans. Luckily we were well informed about its arrival and us girls chose to do our long run a day early knowing all too well that we would be confined to the treadmills for at least the next few days. It was a glorious outdoor run followed by 4 days of not-so-glorious workouts and easy runs indoors. I would probably be more dismayed about having to workout on the treadmill if I wasn't so darn excited to actually be WORKING OUT!!! A couple of weeks ago the trainer at Augsburg, Jim, helped me tape up my foot to support my arch and it turned out to be amazing. It was a post-run "ah ha" moment when I realized that I ran pain free and with a normal foot strike. It was awesome. Since that day I have gotten in a few threshold workouts on the treadmill and while it is apparent there is still work to be done, I can now say that I am actually in a training cycle. Now the focus has to be on not overdoing it too soon.

Back to the blizzard. Actually lets start with my being on the treadmill watching CNN when all the sudden my home town, Milwaukee, is on the news in the middle of a SWAT team stand-off. I was trying to read what was happening but was getting too nauseous so I had to look it up when I got home. Still not sure what happened, but I heard it involved a robot and that is pretty cool.

Then, on the treadmill again watching CNN, I see my current town and the unsightly mass that is the Metrodome. The giant marshmallow roof collapsed! Snow came pouring in "like a sack of flour". All 17 inches of it. What a mess, but I have to admit the stadium looks better when the roof isn't all puffed up. That was my favorite quote from the news- "You see what the roof looks like now...it should be a lot more puffed up than it is." I don't know about you, but I don't think any type of structure should have a "puffed up" roof other than those children's bouncy castles.

So I did survive the blizzard so far. Another good reason I moved- underground parking and only 3 miles from the gym. Although those 3 miles can be treacherous in the snow, I would have never left my house if I lived where I used to. I just hope that we will get a chance to run outside again this season. They are usually pretty good about clearing the paths but this may be a case where there is just too much snow. If that remains the case, it may be a good time for a January vacation.

I am excited to go back to Stallis and spend the holidays with my family. This will be our first Christmas without Moses, but he will still be there in spirit. Plus we have his ashes, so...yeah, no that's just a little creepy.
Merry Christmas to anyone reading this blog and I hope you have a safe and happy holiday season.

Home SWEET Home!

2010-11-03T15:12:00.000-07:00

Wow it sure has been awhile since I blogged. I have a reason for that- I didn't want to depress anybody with my stories of woe so I decided not to write again until I had something cheery to report on. I have that now in the form of a new residence! After months of searching Craigslist I finally pulled the trigger on a description and set of pictures that actually sounded like they would work. I use the term "pulled the trigger" aptly because one could say that after a few months of searching I was a little "gun shy" because nothing had been working out. Three times during my search I was on my way to view a property that really sounded good (I wouldn't waste my time if I knew I wouldn't like it) only to have the Realtors call me when I was blocks away to inform me that the property had been rented or a deposit had been placed. Three times! You can understand why I was reluctant to make a move on any other property and get my hopes up. With this property, I looked at the ad two days in a row. Then one day at Caribou I was talking to my mom on the phone and I was so elated to have a good conversation with her that I decided to make a move on the condo. I sent an email but worried that it wouldn't get there quick enough- so I called. To my joy the owner told me that it was still for rent and I urgently requested to see it that day. It was beautiful, spacious, and in a great location. I knew that maybe I could find cheaper, maybe find better, but this was the best I had seen in 3 months. I had to have it, and I got it!

A few days ago I moved my things out of the storage locker that had been their home for 4 months and I am beginning to get settled in my new condo. I found out quickly that this place is huge! Well, huge as far as a one bedroom condo is concerned. I am sure I will fill it out quite a bit but it is really nice to have plenty of space to roll around. I thought I could last without cable and internet (trying to save money in the absence of racing) but within a day I caved. At least I settled for cheap basic cable which will probably save me $30-50 a month. So far, I love it here. And did I mention it is only 3-4 miles from Lifetime Fitness AND I don't have to fight any rush-hour traffic to get there? Lovely! Oh and probably best of all is the underground parking. I can handle living through a Minnesota winter, but I really hate having to clear my car of snow and frost.

Running- almost there! I am running on the underwater treadmill at Accua quite a bit and it is going really well for me. I ran 10 minutes on the treadmill pain-free the other day and was going to go for 15 min. today but my foot was a little too sore after getting worked on at Lyn Lake Chiropractic. Maybe tomorrow. I know it doesn't sound like much and I probably could handle more, but this is the proper way to get back into running full mileage and I want to stay diligent with it to minimize the risk of the plantar fascitis flaring back up. The goal is to be ready for US XC on Feb. 5th and if I do everything right, I should be there in peak fitness.

I hope that my body will fully heal itself physically and mentally now that I am settled into a real home and my life is getting back in order. I want to take a moment to thank everyone of my friends and family members that put a roof over my head during these past 4 months of drifting. I am going to do the cliche Oscar Award thing and just say "there are way too many to thank and I couldn't have done it without you!" Does that suffice? Good...but truly, if you are reading this, thank you. You never know how many friends you have or how much you mean to them until you need their help and they gladly reach out to you. I am so thankful for my friends and have a renewed confidence in my importance as a person in the lives of others. The past 4 months have been an experience and a lesson in resilience and humility. I know now how to recognize when I need help and I have learned when to put my pride aside and ask for it. I can only hope that this experience has made me stronger and that I can pay it forward when the time comes.

So long sweet summer...

2010-09-09T08:00:00.000-07:00

I've entered my third month of homelessness and I have lost sight of the light at the end of the tunnel. I am just exhausted of house hunting and I can't take any more let downs. Twice now I have been driving out to view properties that really looked promising and I could really see myself at only to have the realator call- while I am on my way, mind you- to tell me that the property has been rented. Twice. These calls have just taken the wind straight out of my sails and it has begun to affect me physically. I try to shake out of it but it is pretty hard to do. I find myself in a catch-22. I want to find a house/apt. that I really like, but wouldn't be able to afford until I get a more stable job. To get a more stable job, I should finish my thesis and finally get my master's degree. However, in order to finish my thesis I need to have a clear head and a sense of security in my life, which can only be achieved by having some stability in my living situation. Add on top of this the fact that I am trying to remedy a "tweeked" foot and "mild" asthma in order to perform optimally at my job and ONLY source of income. This in itself is a problem because I feel that the reason my injuries aren't healing are because I have too much stress in my life. Paradoxically, I cannot get rid of the stress until I am happy with the way I am performing or see that my life is headed in the right direction. Maybe I should just put all of my effort into creating a time-machine so I can go back in time and never move out of my apartment which I really liked!

Life isn't all bad, though. I just need to spend sometime reflect on the fun times of this summer. There was a brief period of time that I actually was training and doing pretty well. Then my foot injury flared up again but I still think I am pretty fit and headed in the right direction. I had the opportunity to go to the Minnesota State Fair for the third year in a row and it did not disappoint. I started the day off with a delicious lamb burger (I always have to eat one semi-healthy thing) and for dessert I had a deep-fried Twinkie on a stick (I always have to eat one thing deep-fried on a stick). I don't know where the deep-fried dough stopped and the Twinkie began, but it was all good. Afterwards I was sufficiently filled up for the next of the night's events- Boyz II Men! That's right, me and my girls kicked it old school at a free live concert by the epic group. It was pretty packed but we had some good ground space held down at by the last song had managed to start one large dance-ring to Motownphilly. Great night. Capped it off with some karaoke and a beergarita and still got to bed before midnight.

I may have mentioned that I once had plans to go skydiving. Unfortunately we had to cancel our reservations a couple of weeks ago due to storms. This weekend the forecast was looking similar so luckily Kate was able to get a day off of work and we went yesterday. It was about an hour drive out to Winsted, MN and one of the most perfect days I have ever seen. Sure, it wasn't quite 60 degrees out, but the sky was crystal blue and the sun was shining. At the airport our plane had a fuel leak so we had to sit an wait for it to be fixed. We signed our lives away on a series of waivers and I got more nervous by the minute. Who would get my new car? Would they know where my storage center key was? Could somebody write my thesis for me once I was gone? Before I new it we were strapping on our harnesses and boarding the plane, just me and Kate and our tandem jumpers. We flew all the way up to 10,000 feet and then it was time to get hooked in. This was the hardest part because I had to sit in "child's pose" for like two minutes which is really hard on my knees (I must have tight quads). Finally the door flew open and I almost got sucked out. I put on foot out on the step, slide over on my butt, leaned forward and in 3-2-1 we were gone. I cannot describe the feeling other than AWESOME. I forgot to do all the things I was supposed to do while free falling. I did manage to look at my altimeter and we were already at 6000ft- just about time to pull the chute. Well, I couldn't find the chute- it is much different when you are soaring through the air. Luckily the instructor wasn't going to wait around for me to find it and he pulled it. The parachute ride down was equally as thrilling and the coolest part is when a hawk flew right by us (I pretend it was an eagle) and it looked so big! We had a really smooth landing and I was exhilarated by it all. It was a prefect day to that point so I want to just forget anything negative that happened since then and try to relive this experience each day. I don't know what the future holds but I think I just have to jump, trusting that a chute will open and guide me safely to my destination.

New wheels, but still no home

2010-08-04T10:02:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile since I have updated here. July flew by and I have been back in Minneapolis for just about a week now. I had a great time at home back in West Allis. While house-sitting for my aunt I was able to become a semi-pro at the Wii. I bowled a 259, golfed a -8 on a 9-hole, and achieved pro-status in tennis and baseball. I still suck at boxing and refuse to play that sport anymore. I am also horrible at Mario Kart. I am looking forward to getting a new house soon so that I can start playing Madden Football again before the actual NFL season starts. I can't wait!

That brings me to the next topic- I have a new car but have yet to find a new house. I had been looking for a car for the past few months and had it boiled down to the specifics that I was looking for: plain-colored exterior (black, silver, maybe white), decent gas mileage, 4-doors, leather seats (heated), and maybe a sunroof. Not able to find anything close to my two residences, my parents took me on a trip south through Kenosha and into Illinois equipped with a list of vehicles I found online that I wanted to look at in person. We struck out at the first two dealerships so we hopped the border into Gurnee, Illinois where I finally found exactly what I was looking for. A 2004 Honda Accord EX, silver, black leather interior with a sunroof. It had more miles than I would have liked for the price, but it really was in immaculate. And the salesman was pretty much awesome. He had a great personality, even though he was obviously a salesman playing the game. It was pretty painless and a little fun doing business with him. It was a big check to write out, probably the biggest I have written yet, but totally worth it. I have been very careful with my money over the years and it was time to get myself something nice that wouldn't be a death-trap like the old Taurus was turning into.

I have been staying with Jenelle and Paul ever since getting back into town. They have been really nice about it but I do feel like a total mooch. Everyday I have been checking Craigslist for home listings and am taking similar steps to what I did with my car- making a list of the must-haves and not settling for less. The hard part is that I am not sure how much I can afford to spend on monthly rent. Plus, I didn't have to pay any extra bills at my old house so I will have to adapt to doing that as well. That will add at least another $100 to any rent. I am nervous about committing to anything because I am uncomfortable with my job security at this point. To be completely honest, I have no idea how much money I make a year and how much I can expect to make in the current year. I guess that would be an important thing to figure out, if I could.

So that is the big project right now in addition to finishing my thesis. Once that gets rolling I think I will feel a lot better. Then I can start looking for a professional job as well. I can't believe summer is coming to an end and I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do in many areas of my life. Towards the end of the month I hope to take an extended road trip in my new car and get refreshed before starting my fall racing season. I am running everyday not, building up the mileage, and I hope to start workouts next week. I will be sure to update about how those go.

New house, for now...

2010-07-19T14:52:00.000-07:00

I ended up coming back to Milwaukee slightly earlier than planned when my car decided to start dumping it's entire tank of anti-freeze/coolant as it was parked outside of my storage center. I managed to get it over to Car X where they refilled it with fluid but didn't want to mess with trying to replace the tank. They told me it would probably just break again because the car was overheating. I am no expert, but I disagreed and decided to go buy a replacement tank and do it myself. Of course, anytime I threaten to get rid of or repair the Taurus, it starts acting nice again. I didn't have any more problems that night and managed to get it back to Milwaukee the next day in addition to achieving my best gas mileage ever. However that proved to be the last ace up the sleeve for the Taurus. He is not going to make it much more than a day. Now the trick is actually finding a car I love, or at least really like, and pulling the trigger.

Oh yeah, the new house. I don't have a new house, I am just staying in a house that is new to me. My aunt, uncle, and cousins went camping for a little over a week and asked me to stay in their house while the were gone. Given my current situation, I was happy to do so. Plus they have a Wii, which I really need to practice at. The other day I got beaten by my 7 and 3 year-old cousins as well as my 73 year-old grandma! No lie. Just one day of practice though and I already bowled a 205. Bring it on Grandma.

I have been working my tail off at the gym. My dad came to a spin class with me last week and we really got worked. Mysteriously enough we were the only people completely drenched in sweat at the end. I don't mind a good workout, but how was everyone else so dry? I also went out for my first ride on a road bike on Saturday- clipped in and everything! I was a little nervous at first but it was a pretty flawless ride. I was able to get out of the clips no problem and didn't fall so it was a good day. The only thing I didn't like about it is that it is more difficult to work as hard as I can on a stationary bike where I can put in a consistant effort for a long time. My dad might take me hill-riding on Saturday and that should change my mind about road bikes!

I am starting to think that I should all-out train for a triathlon now because I feel like I have been in the gym forever. However, I am going to start my return to running on Friday since my foot is feeling a lot better. I am not quite sure how my breathing will be, but in general I can say I am feeling better. It may take more than a few weeks to notice any changes, but I am really hoping that moving was the solution. If it is, then I am willing to wait months if I have to. I just want to be back. I am dying to do a workout and just feel awesome like I used to. I will definitely have to celebrate when that day comes.

Birthday and more

2010-07-08T15:26:00.000-07:00

So on July 5th I woke up early, went to a spin class, then headed home to pack up all my junk. I kissed my dog goodbye and headed to Brunet Island State Park in Cornell, WI for a night of camping with my parents. Before getting to the park we took a tour of the Leinenkugel's brewery, which I have wanted to do for awhile. I had my beer samples, bought a drinking glass, and took the tour. Unfortunately the 5th of July was considered a holiday so we didn't get to see any beer in production, but it was still fun and interesting.

We enjoyed dinner at a local restaurant during the very first day of a smoke-free Wisconsin. I have enjoyed this environment in Minnesota for a couple years now so I am so happy that I get to go home and have the same thing. Back at camp it started to rain but we still managed to make Pudgie Pies in the fire. I even got a "candle" stuck in mine for my birthday.

July 6th was actually my birthday and I was anxious to get going and enjoy all the day has to offer. I stopped in Woodbury to work out at the Lifetime then headed to a nearby Caribou to enjoy my free birthday drink. I decided to get the Mint Condition made with dark chocolate. After that I decided it was time to head back to the Cities, which actually means my storage center since I no longer have my apartment. I cleaned out the spiders, traded some stuff between my car and storage, then got ready to get the party started. Unfortunately it was a tuesday night and Murphy's Law was in play. Nobody could make it to the restaurant and I was sitting at a large table in the middle of the restaurant with 8 waters and two bins of chips. After 20 minutes I decided to make a run for it. Then I realized I really had to go to the bathroom, but coulldn't very well head back to the restaurant and, again, had no home to go to. I decided to head to the Port-a-potty at St. Anthony Falls because then I could take an evening stroll afterwards. Yes, that truly was the first thought that came to my head- the Port-a-potty and the Falls. Luckily Michelle and Lisa called and offered to meet my down at Tugg's for a burger. It was really nice and I had a great time just hanging out with them. I should have stuck to my firm belief that birthdays are best spent alone! But everything worked out in the end.

July 7th it is back to normal. You realize you are older and nobody is going to treat you special for another year. I woke up at Kate and Brea's house and really had to go to the bathroom again. I heard someone in the bathroom so I decided to pack up and head out. I stopped at a gas station on the way but they only had an outdoor bathroom which was occupido. I can tell this bathroom thing is going to be an issue. After working out for the day I saw I missed a call from my dad so I quick called him back to get the bad news- Moses had passed away in his sleep that night. Don't be shocked. We knew he was close. Afterall, he was a 14.5 year old basset hound! I got to spend 3 days alone with him just before I left on Monday and when I said "goodbye" I told him that I loved him very much and I hoped to see him when I came back in a couple weeks. That won't happen now, and I kind of had a feeling about it. Anyways, this is the last picture we took together as we huddled in front of the fan trying to overcome the 4th of July heat:

He was the first dog we had the spent his entire life with us and I feel so lucky to have had him. He was a great dog and I am just glad that he wasn't suffering too badly in the end. In fact we went for a walk that night to see the fireworks (only 1 block) and he was trotting back home after some lady was fawning over how cute he was. He ate that stuff up. He was at the vet when he passed because we were all on vacation, but I think that's the way he wanted it. It will be hard going back home in a few days and not having him there. He has been there everyday since I was 12. At least now each year on my birthday I can think back and remember what a great gift he was.

The Summer of George

2010-07-02T12:12:00.000-07:00

As of yesterday, July 1st, I am officially homeless. Official in the sense that I don't have my own address. However, I have not yet spent a night without a roof over my head. A few weeks ago I met with Dennis and we agreed that pretty much my last option to solve this breathing quandary was to move out of my house just in case I was allergic to something in there. Looking back at it, the onset of my symptoms does coincide closely with when I first moved in. I just igonored it because I didn't really start running that bad until I had been living there for a few months. Plus, I really loved my house and had a great deal set up so it was really tough to leave. It was sad and strange to see my house so empty when just days ago it was perfectly cleaned and organized just how a like it. These pictures are all that remains.

Yesterday I headed back to West Allis (near Milwaukee) to take care of my dog, Moses, while my parents are gone camping. To commemorate my return back to the Dairyland I stopped at one of the many cheesehouses along the way. Man did they get me. I bought a delicious snack pack of summer sausage bites and assorted cheese cubes (a Wisconsin staple), some saltwater taffy, a 4-pack of Sarsaparilla, and a cowtail. I hadn't had a cowtail in years, and it pretty much made my trip home.

July will pretty much be spent between West Allis and Minneapolis and I hope to get a good start/finish on my thesis during that time. After that, I am hoping that I will be able to travel the states. I may need a new car first, but that is a work in process. Nonetheless, I have decided that this is my "Summer of George". An awesome Seinfeld episode if you have never seen it. George gets like a 3 month severance package from the Yankees so he decides to live it up for the summer. That is kind of where I am at. I didn't get fired or anything, but I am not able to "work" until I get healed up so I am basically on leave. I am going to try my best to get into awesome shape for the fall road season, but I also plan on having a ton of fun traveling around as this may be the last time I have the freedom to do so. Like I said before, if you want me to pay you a visit during the Summer of George, just let me know and I will pencil it in. Keep an eye on the old blog here as I hope to update it every few days to write about the adventures of the Summer of George.

Moving out and moving on

2010-06-14T12:34:00.000-07:00

So I see it has been over a month since I updated this blog...whoops! I've been a little scatter-brained and tired so I couldn't really put together a good post but I am ready now. My break has been over for awhile now but after 4 weeks of running I have decided to go back on a semi-break. My breathing has been pretty rough these past few weeks but even more troubling is the fact that my foot/knee injuries have been hanging on. I need to take the wise advice of not coming back too soon and just cross training until I am feeling physically better. I am going back to Lyn Lake Chiropractic today because they take such good care of me there. This has been the toughest injury to get rid of so far but I am thankful for their expertise and care.

Yes, the breathing is still a major issue. Sometimes it seems a little better, but I have to admit that I haven't felt "normal" for over a year now. I think I am out of options so I am taking the big plunge- I am vacating my apartment. There is not apparent offending agent in my apartment that I can find, but I have to admit that my breathing issues coincide closely with my move into this apartment in October 2008. I was very thankful to find this place and am very hesitant to leave, but I feel I have no other choice.

I am going to try to stay out of any permanent lodging for a good 2-3 months so that I can be sure if the problems were stemming from my apartment or not. Temporary lodging will include my home in Milwaukee, the generosity of other friends and family, and as a last resort, the Taurus! Okay I won't really be living in my car, but I do plan on having some memorable experiences this summer and that may include a road trip or two. So, if you have any ideas on where I should go, send them my way! Jacenta, you are on my list. I here Denver and Colorado in general are amazing and I can't wait to explore. Camping is definitely on my list. Meghan and I still need to catch a fish (preferably one we can eat). Other times I may just be hanging out in Stallis taking naps with Moses and training for the toughest challenge of my life- "The Kind of Johnny V's Challenge." 10 eggs, 8 pancakes, a plate of hash browns, 3 pieces of bacon and sausage, a slice of ham, AND two slices of Texas toast in under an hour. That's a serious challenge. I ate breakfast there last month and couldn't even finish two eggs, two pancakes, and two pieces of bacon. Well, time to get to work.

I hope to update more frequently once my summer adventures begin. I will officially be out of my apartment in two weeks. I REALLY hope this is the answer and I will be ready to kick some serious butt in the 2010-2011 season.

Week 2 Begins

2010-05-10T12:22:00.000-07:00

Well I wish I could say that my break was giving me exactly what I needed and I would be excited for it to be over so I could run again. No doubt, the rest has been good but unfortunately I came down with a cold after returning from Spokane and now I think it has progressed into a sinus infection. I lost my voice on Saturday night and haven't really been able to talk- when I do, I sound like a Muppet. It is pretty comical, especially when you live alone and don't talk to anyone all day, then show up at the coffee shop and order some tea and have some strange noises come out of you mouth. Now I talk to myself a little each morning so I am prepared for what it will sound like if I have to answer the phone or go out in public.

Unfortunately this illness is really wiping me out and I haven't been able to make the progress I was hoping to on my thesis. I did successfully apply for my Minnesota driver's license, which should be in the mail in another 2-5 weeks? Of course that wasn't exactly easy. I passed the knowledge test in about 5 minutes then filled out my application for the license. However when I was called up to the next window they informed me that their computers had just crashed and they wouldn't be able to process anything until they came back up. No worries, I said, since I was at the Midtown Global Market, it was Cinc de Mayo, and I was hungry for tacos. Unfortunately the tacos made me taste like onions for the rest of the day and the computers were still crashed. I was able to complete the process at another DMV later that day.

When you don't have to worry about running and you are too tired to do productive work you can really get yourself into trouble playing around on the computer. I somehow thought it would be a great idea to act on this email deal I received and now my friend Kate and I will be going skydiving for 50% off. I don't know what is crazier: deciding to go skydiving or deciding to go skydiving for 50% off? I just hope that 50% wasn't for the parachute. I guess we will find out some day soon...

I think the hardest part about being on break is regulating your food intake to match the decreased level of physical activity. I say this after having consumed 1/2 tray of Fruity Pebble's bars for lunch. I wasn't really hungry, they just sounded good...and they were. I think I am going to have to stop making those now. I am probably going to have to put a little more effort in on this front, but that's what I am supposed to be trained to do isn't it? That is another thing. I am scouting out dietitian jobs so I can put my degree to work before I start forgetting everything! I am not sure what type of employment I am looking for but I would be interested in working in some type of wellness program. I am also always looking for ways to get my feet wet in the eating disorders field. Just gotta take those first steps and get started with something.

Break Time

2010-05-04T11:24:00.000-07:00

The Lilac Bloomsday run was a great event and a pretty nice weekend. It was a 12k PR for me, but only because I had never run 12k before. I fully intend to PR the next time I do the race. It is a an awesome race for those who have never heard of it or participated in it. I think they had over 55,000 runners?! That's almost as populous as West Allis. It had a pretty intense elite field as well. Turns out the women's champion set a course record while I felt like it was a pretty tough course and maybe a little windy. That would explain how I got beat by over 3 minutes! I came in as the second American, which was okay but I expect a lot more out of myself. I think I have figured out what the issue is. My asthma/breathing should be improved from before, but I think I had to sacrafice some quality training in the meantime and wasn't able to develop my threshold to where it should be. With my limited scientific knowledge on the subject I have deduced that my threshold (pace-wise) must be about 5:30-5:35/mile. Ideally I would like it to be 5:15-5:20, and that is the pace I attempt to run at. Needless to say, it just doesn't work out and that is why I am still feeling like it is so difficult to run. I wonder if I would have the same issues if I ran at 5:45 pace? I am hoping not. That is why I am going to take a significant break right now, get things healed up, and then take another shot at getting my threshold to where it should be. That means coming back sloooowwwly, and training smart so that I am ready to go in late summer/fall.

Day 2 of my break and I am already getting some things done. Sure, I had a lot of free time when I was training but I was so focused on resting or preparing for the next workout that I had a hard time accomplishing much else. Now my days are completely free and I am able to tie up my loose ends. Tomorrow I am going to finally get my Minnesota driver's license. After that I am going to take on the large task of writing my thesis. If all goes well, the thesis will be done before I return to training full-time. Let's just hope there isn't a Dawson's Creek marathon on TV during this time otherwise I might have a tough time getting to the library!

Of course I am at Life Time Fitness now but I promise I am not working out. I don't have the internet at home so I get it here. I brought a pair of shorts with my so that I can shoot some hoops. If I can take any lesson from Marion Jones (no, nothing to do with PEDs), it is that it is never too late to give it a go in the WNBA! Of course I don't intend to be banned from the sport of track and field or spend any amount of time in jail, but I do love working on my jump shot and pretending, however briefly, that running is not the only sport that I can be good at. In 1996 I had a dream...to play in the newly established WNBA. That dream died in 1999 when I retired from the sport of basketball due to a minor foot injury and a major coaching disagreement. Over 10 years later, I am pretty sure I made the right decision, but here's to still keeping the dream alive! (Author's note: I am sure only my family in friends will see the humor in this, but I am still kind of half-seriuos.)

Life on the Roads

2010-04-30T10:49:00.000-07:00

I've recently made the decision to stay off of the track this year. I just wasn't able to get my breathing to where it needs to be for the intense pace that the track brings. Also, I have had some lingering pains that need a little bit of time/ softer surfaces to heal themselves. Therefore, I am beginning and ending a very short road season before taking a break to gear back up for the summer/fall.

This past weekend I competed in the Get in Gear 10k in Minneapolis. I finished second in the women's elite field with a time of exactly 34:00 minutes. If I was being honest, that is exactly what I expected to do but I am not necessarily thrilled about it. Of course I always like to win, and I actually wanted to be under 34 minutes, but I can't be too upset overall. My breathing fell back into the same pattern is has been in, but I don't think it was all that hindering. It just shakes my confidence and keeps me from pushing in those crucial points in the race. It is so deceiving how your pace can slow down 10 seconds per mile without feeling any different. I wonder if it would feel the same to quicken the pace by 10 seconds per mile? Perhaps I will find out this weekend.

I am leaving in a few hours to fly out to Spokane, WA, where I was invited to run in the Lilac Bloomsday 12k. I will be among a very competitive field of elites but am hoping just to go after honors of top American. This will be my first 12k but I feel ready to do it. Like I said, this will be a very short road season as this is likely to be my last race before taking an extended break. I need to give my body a shot to heal properly and also get my systems all on the same page. Best case scenario is that I start back training again in June with my breathing problems either gone or much improved. I will hopefully then do a few summer road races and be in peak shape for the very important fall road season.

During my down time I plan to work on/ finish my thesis and perhaps do a little traveling/ vacationing. I am seriously considering getting the dog I have always wanted, but am also well aware of the responsibility so I am taking a very objective approach to that decision. I am wishing all of my teammates the best on their track endeavors and am looking forward to being a spectator, even though I know I will really want to be out there with them.

Lovin' Spring

2010-04-19T13:21:00.000-07:00

I am just loving this spring weather! Who would have thought that Minnesota would have the nicest weather in the country? Of course we all know that next week we could be back to the 20's or 30's with a blizzard on the horizon, but for now I am going to soak up every minute of sunshine. Strangely enough, the only "bad weather" days have occured while I was driving. Last week I drove back down to the Mayo Clinic to undergo an exercise test. Mayo Clinic does a good job and mailing out a schedule of the tests that are going to be done and directions that need to be followed but I received 3 different forms all telling me that I need to be fasted for different amounts of time. One said at least 4 hours while the others said no heavy meals within 1 or 2 hours. I erred on the safe side and didn't have anything to eat all morning. Afterall, my test was scheduled at 9:40. Unfortunately I sat in a large gown shirt covering my multiple electrodes until well past 11am before the test got started. To make things worse, it was a bike test and I suck at the bike. I really don't like it. However, it was made ultimately worse by having to have a scope snaked up through my nose and down into my throat so that the doctor could view my vocal cord while I exercised. My nose is very normal and apparently has multiple bony spurs from being broken once or twice and never properly healed. Consequently this is an uncomfortable process and I did tear up a few times. Most pain doesn't make me cry, but I didn't like this at all. I tried my hardest not to talk, swallow, or move my head so as not to disturb the scope.
The test got going and I was constantly monitored for my HR as well as my perceived exertion. I tried hard but the bike nevertheless got the better of me pretty early on. I think I could have gone harder if I could move my head or get up out of the saddle, but it is what it is. Good and bad results came from the test. The best news was that there didn't appear to be any malfunctioning in my vocal cords. That is to say, they stayed open the whole time, leaving that airway open. Bad news was that my anaerobic threshold and VO2max weren't as high as I would have liked. Some of that could be due to the test being done on a bike and not while running but even if I gave myself some points for that, it still wasn't that good. I also got my "normal" symptoms at the conclusion of the test but no reassuring words on what was causing it. Post-exercise breathing tests didn't show any exercise-induced bronchospasm so even without using my inhaler before hand, my asthma appeared to be controlled.
I am waiting for the notes from the doctors to be mailed to me so I can get a better understanding of what they found. I will still be treating allergies and asthma and hopefully will be finding exercise to be a bit easier. The best conclusion I can come to for the continuence of symptoms is that while my asthma was bad, I was pushing my body too hard to run at a level it couldn't yet handle. Therefore my body never made the appropriate adaptations to the training effects and therefore still isn't ready to adapt to the paces I am asking it to do. I don't know a whole lot about exercise physiology, but I think I just missed an important part of my training while I was dealing with these issues and now I need to go back and build that training in the right progression. Like I said, I still don't know what the problem/solution is, but I am ruling some things out at the same time and making progress. Nonetheless, I have elected to stay of the track for awhile. Instead of competing at the Brutus Hamilton meet in Berkeley, CA this weekend I will be staying home to run the Get-in-Gear 10k road race. It will be nice on my body to not have to travel and not be on the track. Hopefully all goes well and I will make my way back to the track within the next month or so.

Easter Ham

2010-04-06T12:06:00.000-07:00

My brother and I headed back to West Allis ('Stallis'), WI for Easter this year. I think it had been at least 5 years since I went home for Easter. Just a busy time of year. Even so, I don't get to see my family very often and they were excited to hear all about Poland. These trips have worked out pretty well the last couple years because my brother lives down in La Crosse now and I only have to drive about 3 hours to get down there, he only needs to drive about 3 hours to Milwaukee from there. Good deal. Especially since I think the Taurus is dying. No interior dome light (had to uninstall due to "technical difficulties"), loud exhaust, weak brakes, and as of late he has gotten a case of the shakes. Doesn't matter if I am driving 25 or 65, that steering wheel shakes like crazy. It is so bad that my arm got numb driving home from all of the shaking. With that said, is anybody in the market for a 1999 Ford Taurus? I will make you a good deal. :)

Easter was pleasant. Took the day off from running and had my fill of two of my Easter favorites: cut-up Polish sausage (which I was still craving) and HAM!!! I don't know if it is a genetic thing, but my brother and I just love ham and grandma did not disappoint this year. It was delicious. As were Gwen's scalloped potatoes. Yum. Totally worth the trip home. Then we went to visit my mom and one of my other favorites was waiting: summer sausage and cheese, cracker optional. It might just be a Wisconsin thing, but it doesn't get any better than summer sausage and cheese. Okay, that's enough for my food blog.
We came home on Monday afternoon and I still had intentions of fitting a workout in. I figured it would be best to do it on the track at UW La Crosse. After all, that is where the Wisconsin state meet is held and the track was just redone. It had been 9 years since I ran my 5:11 mile there (while Brooke Novak was en route to a 4:43 state record). I figured I would be in for a good workout but that was not quite the case. I won't detail what it was or how it went, but it was not what I wanted and I was slightly embarrassed by the amateurness displayed by me on the track! My brother was really nice about it and was a good coach. With his help I managed to salvage some of the workout and still get something in.
Not bad I suppose considering I didn't have my inhaler and was running in worn-out shoes. Still, pretty disappointing so I am looking forward to my next appointment down at Mayo where I will be doing an exercise study to see if we can figure out what else may be going on. Until then I am not going to set a track schedule for myself until I am more confident that I will be able to perform at the level I expect of myself.
In the meantime I hope to get my thesis knocked out sometime soon and I may begin actively looking for a position as a Registered Dietitian. I don't intend to devote any less time or energy to running; I would just like to start building my career in nutrition at the same time. I am not getting any younger but I am starting to get a little lazier and a little "dumber", so I need to get back into the academic world. I ran my best races while I was a dietetic intern so I know that it is possible to do both at a high level. I just need to get things figured out, balanced out, and start enjoying life again.

Bronze

2010-03-30T13:41:00.000-07:00

Forgive me if this blog is difficult to read or comprehend. I am still jet lagged and have a nasty cold but I feel the need to get this blog out there for all Team USA fans. In case you didn't read, the women brought home the Bronze from the World Cross Country Championships in Bydgoszcz, Poland this weekend. As a team we went in there with one goal. It wasn't to go for the gold, or even the silver, but to after bronze. I know, funny goal. Shouldn't you always be going for the win? But we knew we had to be realistic and for most non-African nations at this point in time it is about trying to be the next best. And that is just what we were. We were undoubtedly the 3rd best senior women's team out there on Sunday and we brought home the bronze....by a lot!
Let me just begin by saying that I feel very lucky to even be a part of this team. As soon as I found out that Worlds was going to be in Poland and that most of our top US runners were going to declare for the team if they made it, I wanted to be on it. I know I am not in the shape I was at Worlds 2 years ago and running has been very difficult in the past 12 months, but I gave everything I had at the US Championships to try to make the squad. I fell one place short but never gave up hope. Certain events in the following weeks worked out perfectly for me to be invited onto the team and I was so pumped because I knew what a tough team we were sending. I had the honor of joining two former Olympians (one with a medal!) and 3 of the toughest, gutsiest runners in the country on a team with a definite mission.
I didn't have my best race ever, but I would definitely say it was the best race I have ran in the past 12 months. That is very positive feedback for me and tells me I am headed in the right direction. I knew I needed to stay within myself to avoid the disaster I had at NACAC. It is much easier in a field as big as the one at Worlds to start conservative and work your way past people the entire race. I think I just left myself with a little too much work to do. Given the conditions I am definitely pleased with my time. Although not always comparable from course to course, I ran faster than I did at US cross on a pretty tough course. LOTS of mud- the sticky kind, not necessarily the slippery kind- and hurdles! Well, actually logs that probably came up to my knees. Brought me back to my steeple days and overall didn't seem too difficult for me to maneuver. That is the one advantage of being a taller, slower cross country runner- I was actually happy to see some mud and obstacles on the course.

Well I don't know what else to say. Like I said, my head is still cloudy and I still can't believe that I have a World Championships medal in my possession. This trip is definitely one for the memory books. I will never forget the experience or the amazing team I was a part of. Some were calling us a dream team and in my most humble admission I would have to agree. For a 5:11 miler from West Allis, Wisconsin who never won a state title, never won a national title in college, this was a team that I could hardly ever dream of being a part of. Thanks to each and every woman on that team, every coach and every administrator for giving me a chance and making me feel welcome amongst a squad of such high caliber athletes. I can't wait until 2011. Better believe I am going for a spot on that team and another World XC medal!

The Great Equalizer

2010-03-27T13:55:00.000-07:00

That's what Doug Logan called it, and the rest of us agree. After a week of sun and t-shirt weather, it rained all day today and barely left the 30's. The course is officially a mudpit. Are we upset? Not really. It truly is an equalizer that will slow the smaller, quicker runners down and give a more even advantage to those who can tough it out in the mud. I don't think the African teams are too thrilled about the conditions and that gives us confidence and hope. We have all raced through these conditions before and our chances for a medal are looking better than ever. We have been a point away twice now and we are intent on finally getting back up on the medal stand. This is the team to do it. We believe it. We feel it. We are going after it. Wish us luck tomorrow. We are observing daylight savings here so we will be 7 hours ahead of the central time zone. The senior women's race begins at 1:15pm. I hope to return on Monday with good news and a shiny medal but regardless of the outcome, I intend on giving it my all. I am honored to be here with this team and will enjoy every sticky, sloppy, slippery step I take.

Poland

2010-03-24T00:53:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, we made it to Poland safe and sound. Not a bad trip, but definetely a lot of traveling. We got in just in time for a nice little run down by the river and were treated to a sunset while we were finishing up. I think the weather may for once be nicer in Minnesota, but it isn't too bad here. I had awhile to get used to what the 30's feel like and I think we will be up in the 50s during the day. Just two easy runs today mixed in with a little exploring. We aren't too far from a mall and Old Town, which apparently is a must see. The TV and the bed are WAY smaller than what us Americans are used to, so I probably won't be hanging out in the room too much but the hotel is nice. The coffee is strong and the food is good so I am a happy camper. Not too much to report right now but I will write again as we get closer to the competition. Keep and eye on the NCAA tournament for me. Kentucky and Syracuse are the only two teams left in my bracket, but I have them both in the final so I am just hoping they get through!

Spring has sprung

2010-03-15T09:01:00.000-07:00

62 degrees and sun...can't get much better than that for a mid-March Sunday. I am thrilled that spring is just about here. I can finally run EVERY run outside! No more treadmills, no more ice, got to be thankful for that. In case anyone checked results I should inform you that I decided not to compete in the 15k this weekend (I may have forgotten to tell my parents, so I apologize for that!). I got back from Tobago on Sunday and didn't run that day. On Monday I ran an easy long run which went okay but the next day I was warming up for a short threshold run and couldn't get my knee to loosen up. For a few weeks I had been experiencing a "catching" every now and then behind my knee but this time it just wouldn't warm up. I started the threshold but immediately had a sharp pain in my knee and I hobbled a little bit. I found that if I ran at a certain stride length it wouldn't bother me too much but that made it difficult to get it going. Despite getting excellent treatment at Lyn Lake Chiropractic, it didn't improve much come Wednesday. Since my flight was leaving Thursday for Jacksonville, I had to make the decision that day whether or not I should go. I discussed it with my coach and manager and we decided it would be best not to risk it so that I could be healthy for World XC. The next day my knee felt fine and has been moving great ever since. I think sometimes those "24-hr injuries" creep up at just the right time because they are the only things that will keep you from doing a race or a run that you probably shouldn't do. I might have been fine coming out of the 15k, but it wasn't worth the risk of being sidelined for Worlds.
I would have loved to support my team at the 15k but they still did great. The men defended their team title led by a 3rd place showing from Vega while my good buddy Katie FINALLY won the 15k championship. She is an amazing runner with all the guts in the world and I am so happy and proud that she got a title that had just barely eluded her for years. She beat a really good field, too, so more props to her.

I read a very interesting comment to my previous blog suggesting that I am too negative and just need to suck it up and run. I don't think the poster meant any ill will but the comment did fire me up a little. In response I must agree with you; my latest posts have been quite negative. However, I don't intend to sugarcoat my life or the trials that I am going through. This is a blog about my life as a runner, and this is what it is like. I think people need to know that. The reality is that my chosen career is a professional runner and for the past year I have been going to work every day and consistently underperforming. What's worse is that my performance is being hindered by something that is not necessarily under my control. Put that in the perspective of any other career person in any other field and I think they would be just as frustrated as me. The key thing is that I haven't quit, although the idea of it has crossed my mind. I don't want to quit because it is too hard. I will push through anything. But I can't get over the idea that I am wasting time or wasting the years I could be spending in another career field just waiting to see if my running will improve to the level I know I can perform at.

But enough of that kind of talk. Despite my negativity, I still have a lot of support. Some people are jumping off the ship but those that matter are still on board. On a daily basis I look for solutions to my troubles and I am going back down to the Mayo Clinic tomorrow to take another look at things. In the meantime I am still working hard and actually still running quite well even though I don't sound that great doing so! I am racing in Poland in less than two weeks and I earned that spot. It can't be denied and I believe that if I could run well enough to earn that spot a month ago, I can do it again. Thanks to those who have stayed on board with me all this time and I look forward to making you proud in the near future.

T-N-T...Says it all

2010-03-08T12:43:00.000-08:00

Most of the locals don't say Trinidad and Tobago; they refer to it as T&T, or T-n-T. I found that to be a fitting nickname on Saturday because very frankly, I blew up. And not in a good way. I don't want to dwell on it too long because I am trying to get over the frustration, disappointment, and downright embarrassment as quickly as possible. However I do feel that I should explain what happened since not many were there to view the event.

First off, I would like to extend my congratulations to Delilah and Max for their victories in the senior open races as well as to all of the athletes who competed. I think it was a good performance overall for the USA. The race for me was not what I had hoped for. I knew that to be successful I would have to take it easy on the first lap and try to pick it up each 2k. Unfortunately our race was very small and I had no choice but to lead it out. I only wish I had a better gauge on my pace so that I could have pulled it back a bit. I felt good the first lap, but never comfortable. The course terrain was pretty difficult on my body. Very hard dirt/grass with cracks like an earthquake, some roots, the random stray coconut. All made it difficult to run a steady pace. The downhills especially hurt. I would have traded them in for a flat straight, maybe even a hill. And then the heat and humidity factor.

Okay, enough complaining. I am not an excuse maker and I refuse to pass blame for my poor performance. I ran a crappy race and that is that. Just the reasons why it was crappy are frustrating to me. I knew there was a good chance that the weather on the island of Tobago was not going to be great for people asthma, but my easy runs on the previous days had felt pretty good breathing wise. I took all of my medications properly, hydrated, rested, everything I should have done. Yet 10 minutes into the race it was the same old thing. The breathing became very strained and my legs got weak until finally I gave in and stopped shortly after the 4k. I was near the tent and contemplated just walking back to it and calling it a day. I spent a good 30-60 seconds deciding what to do until I finally sucked it up and started "running" again. I hate DNF'ing. I walked up the steepest hill on the course because I figured that would be faster. Then I got back to it, trying to hold back tears of frustration and embarassment. I think I pulled even with a woman from team Mexico, but knew I wouldn't have the kick to beat her so I stopped again and let her go. It was really a tough thing to do but I felt the only control I had over my body was the decision to either start or stop. Once it was in motion, I felt there was nothing I could do to control it. I finished and of course recovered right away. That is the other frustrating thing about my condition. I seem to be perfectly fine as soon as I stop.

So that is where I am at today. My confidence is severely shaken and I have the 15k this saturday and World Cross Country 2 weeks after that. In the meantime I will be trying to pool all of my resources to figure out what the heck is wrong with me. I am willing to take advice or suggestions from anyone that has any. I have been dealing with this for nearly a year and I am ready to be done with it. Thanks for reading through my rants. I just needed a way to vent feelings but also wanted to let everyone know that I am not giving up. I hope the next post is a joyous one and I will have good news to report for a change.

Race Day

2010-03-06T06:49:00.000-08:00

Still adjusting to the heat here. It is odd because I am used to the "feels like" temperature being lower than the actual temperature. Here it is more like 88 degrees, feels like 91. And it is windy, which doesn't do much to relieve the heat but does make running a bit harder.

We did a shakeout on the course today. It is on the golf course right next to our hotel, but it isn't a very lavish course. The grass is brown and cracked and there are stray coconuts in a few spots along the course. There are two significant hills and the rest of the course is rolling. I am thankful it is just a 6k today, but now I am even wishing it was just 4k. The fields are also quite small. Only 3 teams, 19 women total in our race (5 of which are from the USA). I want to race well but I also don't want to put myself in too bad of a condition with the 15k just a week away. I will just have to see how the race plays out. I am trying not to worry about mileage too much as running is pretty tough here. I will save the miles for when I get back home.

It is still beautiful here despite my complaining about the weather. If I didn't have to race in it, it would be perfect. I would love to be at the beach playing in the sea right now, but that can wait until after the race. Just over 5 hours to go. I will update when all is done.

Tobago- Day 1

2010-03-04T07:47:00.000-08:00

After about 13 hours of travel I finally made it to Tobago late last night. I was greated by a warm wind and the smell of campfire. Not sure where it was coming from, but I have smelt it a lot since being here. The drive to the resort from the airport was interesting. Much, much different than the drive from other airports. They drive on the left here and pass whenever they feel like it. Not many sidewalks and most of the buildings look only partially constructed. It will be fun to explore it more during the daytime. We planned to go snorkeling today but apparently it is a morning thing so we will try to go Friday morning. Just lazying around now but will probably walk across the street to the beach in a little bit. We are literally on a golf course and I think it may be the same golf course we are racing on. Not very green, but it is still grass that isn't covered with snow.

I ran a tough 4 miles this morning. It may take some time to get used to the heat. We have a limited supply of bottled water but I am not sure if it would be a good idea to start drinking it straight from the tap. Hopefully I will be good to go for another run this afternoon followed by some 200's. I can already tell, though, that this is not going to be the time for me to get some mileage in. Hopefully I will still be good to go for the 15k next weekend.

Oh yeah, some exciting news. Due to Sara Hall's spectacular performance last weekend at the indoor US championships, she will be going to the indoor world championships and giving up her spot on the cross country team. So that means I am in. I just got my travel confirmation today. I am pumped. I really wanted another spot on the world team and even though I didn't win it outright, I am very excited to go. I think we have a really strong team and will be right in there for a podium position like we were two years ago. Hopefully this time we will come out on top and bring home a medal. Likewise for NACAC. I think we have a good team here and should be able to put together a fine team performance.

Not sure how my lungs are reacting to the new environment. I was hoping that the air would be easier to breath and my lungs would be "happy". Maybe I will be able to figure something out from this evening's workout.

Oh yeah, I am pretty bummed because I couldn't find my camera before I left. I had a crappy old one lying around so at least I will get some pictures, but it's just not the same :( Hoepfully that is the only bad news of the week.

A Weekend of Planning Ahead

2010-02-26T13:55:00.000-08:00

The UPS guy has become my BFF these past few weeks. First I got a large shipment of shoes from New Balance, followed by the new race kit that was debuted at US XC. Then earlier this week I received a large shipment of clothes from New Balance that have me really looking forward to the arrival of spring. And yesterday, as I was getting out of my car and hopping onto my ice-covered walk I heard the familiar shout, "UPS!". I rushed around to the front asking if the box was for me, well-knowing the my USA gear had arrived. Then it set in- I am leaving the country in less than a week.

Now is not the best time for me to have to get organized as my living room is littered with shoe boxes and new clothes, not to mention tax documents, library books and thesis paper materials. All important, and all continuing to stack up on my floor and in my head. There is a lot to be done, but the main focus now is getting ready for next weekend's NACAC Cross Country Championships in Tobago.

I qualified for the team after placing 7th at the US Cross Country Championships. I am actually exicited to go because this is the first year that the championships will be held outside of North America. Who wouldn't want to take a trip to the Caribbean, especially in the month of February and someone who has lived in Minnesota for 7 years? As excited as I am to have a "vacation", there is a lot of preparation to be done and there is still a race to be run. A race that I intend to do very well at.

It is only a 6k so I should definetely be ready for the distance, I am just hoping my lungs will cooperate and my legs will be sharp enough. I think 85 degrees and humid will feel better for my lungs than the cold, dry air of Minnesota, but my legs are not happy right now. Dennis wrote this week's schedule for me for 88 miles. I called him on the error and we knocked it back down to the mid-70's, but I have still had a tough week. It started off with 20x200 on tuesday, which I did at a fairly decent pace. Then on thursday we entered back into "Kenyan training camp" mode which consisted of threshold in the morning and hills in the afternoon. I did a 6mile threshold run on the treadmill at an okay pace (about 10 seconds slower per mile than race pace) then went back in the afternoon for 12x150meter hills outside. By the time I got home I had 17 miles in my legs. That is a lot for me and I sure felt it today! Tomorrow will be a long run and then Sunday will be real easy or off.

I am also pumped to watch the men's Big Ten meet this weekend which is being hosted by Minnesota. Tomorrow night I am going to a little track and field reunion after the meet that will be capped off by a tour of the new football stadium. I will also be checking up on the results of the US Indoor Championships, especially to see how Heather, Gabe, and Patrick do. All the meanwhile I will be carefully packing for my trip. I leave on Wednesday and will be traveling for about 13 hours. I leave Minneapolis at 7:25 and fly to Miami. After a few hours of layover I fly to Trinidad, have another layover, then fly the short 51 miles to Tobago. When I get there it will be nearly 11pm and I will certainly be exhausted. I am exhausted just writing about it but I am sure one glance at the white beaches and vibrant blue waters will bring me back to life. I intend to take pictures and will share all upon my return.

Welcome Back

2010-02-15T13:08:00.000-08:00

Well, it was time to suck it up and get back to racing. I am not the athlete I want to be, or the athlete I know I am capable of being, but I can't sit and wait for me to get there. I just have to keep pushing, keep trying. Saturday's race was a big confidence builder for me despite just missing a spot on the World team. My chances for defending my championship from last year were slim, even on a great day in my best shape, but the "real" me would have been right up in there for 2nd or 3rd. I am sure that if I was healthy and confident in my capabilities to hold strong, I would have been pushing it with that lead pack. Instead, I had to go with the conservative approach, the smart approach, and run in a manner that would allow me to actually finish the race. Through these past 8 months I have learned how my body reacts to different types of running. If I take the time to build up into it, my body (lungs) can sustain a harder pace for longer. Unfortunately, if I start off at the hard pace I pay for it very early on (eg. my 5ks from last track season).

I think I ran it perfectly. I stayed with the pack just long enough to get away from the chasers behind, then I let them go to settle into my own race. I was more comfortable running by myself and not having to deal with any pushing or drastic pace changes. As the laps wore on, my lungs continued to function with difficulty, but my legs and the rest of my body felt strong and I kept chugging along, picking people off. I just fell one short (7th place), but truly felt I did the best I could in my current condition. It's no way to win a race, but I believe it was what I had to do in order to finish the race and have a decent run.

The best thing that came out of the weekend is my renewed confidence and hope for the future. It may take awhile to kick this asthma, and I may be stuck treating it for the rest of my career, but I am learning how to deal with it and hope that one day I will have it in good enough control to run at my true potential. The season ahead is looking bright. I should find out soon if I am selected onto the World XC team (one athlete ahead of me will have to decline) and in the meantime I am hoping to run that NACAC Cross Country Championships in Tobago, which is in early March. I just got home yesterday so I still have some discussing to do with my coach (Dennis), but beyond that I have nothing tethering me to the state of Minnesota at this time. I just hope and pray that this is a giant stepping stone and I only go up from here!

Billy Mills

2010-02-12T16:02:00.000-08:00

I am out in Spokane, WA. The US Cross Country Championships are tomorrow. We previewed the course this morning and it feels like it is going to be a good one. I just got back from the press conference where I had the honor of sitting next to Mr. Billy Mills, the 1964 Olympic Gold Medalist at 10,000m. Billy Mills bio. I recognized the name when I saw the placard on the table, but had to ask Patrick to remind me who he was. I stuttered upon greeting him but he had a way of talking to me that made me completely comfortable despite my awe. I probably only talked to him for 5 minutes or so, but in that short period of time I heard some of the most inspirational stories of my life. Billy has me believing that I, as well as many of the other American distance runners, can run with the best in the world. We just have to believe it and be willing to take the risk to try it. My first step towards this goal begins tomorrow.

Billy Mills certainly faced adversity is his life and I am sure not every training block had gone the way he had hoped, but he never stopped believing. He told me that he just had to try it. For anything you want, you just need to believe it and try. I know that is what I need to do tomorrow. I don't know what kind of shape I am in or if/how my asthma is going to affect me, but I just have to try. You never know when you may have the best race of your life. On paper, should I be picked to win? No. But nobody had picked Billy Mills to be the Olympic Champion either. Going into the Olympics he told me that he wasn't even ranked in the US. It didn't matter. All that matters is that one race, that one moment.

It is time to put my doubts behind and just go out an give it my best shot. This won't be the last time I race, but I have to take every opportunity I can to give it my all. I really want to make another world team and represent my country in Poland. After all, I am pretty sure I have ancestors from there! More than that, it is such a rare opportunity that may not come around again. So all I can ask is that you wish me the best in return for my promise that I will give it all I've got. Bring it...

Plan B...or C, or D, or...

2010-01-25T08:08:00.000-08:00

Well Saturday did not necessarily go to plan. After a tough week of VO2max workouts on the track Dennis and I decided that it probably would not be smart to race unless I felt really good. In both workouts on the track last week I had asthma symptoms pretty early on and just kind of suffered through the repeats. Also, I was working in spikes so that my body could get used to wearing them. Unfortunately my body just kind of rejected them and made that painfully obvious through tight, sore calves and IT bands.

I thought about racing all day long, not making a final decision until the very last minute. Just call me Brett :) I went to the Minnesota vs. Michigan St. basketball game which proved to be a very exciting game. Unfortunately it ended the way that most Gopher sporting events end: big lead that slowly dwindles away only to lose in the final seconds of the game. We do have a good team, though, and I am excited to see what they can do in the Big Ten and NCAA tournaments.

Sunday was a long run day on the treadmill. I hate when it is 35 degrees outside but you can't run out there because the ice is infinite and deadly. I am just dreading the rest of the winter because I don't think it is going to be possible for us to clear the ice. There will be no safe running routes and we will be confined to the treadmills for another 2 months. In light of the current conditions, I would have preferred that it stayed below zero and never thawed out. That's what facemasks are for.

While doing the long run I was forced to watch close to 2 hours of Vikings coverage on Fox 9 News. Boy they were excieted about the Super Bowl. I would have loved for this game to have been Packers-Vikings for the trip to Miami but it was not so. All I wanted was for Minnesotans to get ALLof Brett Favre- the good and the bad. They were so excited about getting him and many people kept throwing it in our faces about how we gave him up and now we were paying for it. I'm sorry, but did you see Aaron Rodgers play this year? It was a smart choice. ESPN highlights reminded me of the tragedy 2 years ago when Favre led the Packers into the NFC championship game against the Giants...then threw a pick in overtime that all but ended the game. Dagger in the heart, but that is what we grew to accept with Favre. One of the greatest QB's of all time, but not without flaws. And all too often those mistakes are big and costly. The Vikings found that out the hard way last night and for a true Green Bay fan living in Minnesota, I couldn't have wished for it to end any other way. I am not writing this to piss people off, I just wanted them to experience the same Favre that we had for all those glorious years.

Any ways, time to get over my obsession with football for awhile. I have my own troubles trying to figure out how to salvage my young career. It is time to switch to plan B, or at least another plan than what I have tried. The meds didn't do exactly what I had hoped for. I am sure they are working to relieve the inflammation in my lungs, but it is kind of like taking two steps forward but one step back. I treat the inflammantion but then go on the indoor track and run VO2max repeats that just tear up my lungs again. It is one of those Catch-22s. If I continue to train hard I may not be able to race well because my lungs will never heal. If I stop working out to let my lungs heal then I may not be able to race well because I will not be fit or race-sharp enough. As a compromise, I am going to try doing one hard workout a week and easy running all the other days just slow enough that my lungs do not get taxed. We will see how that turns out.

In the meantime, I am just going to focus on finishing up my thesis so that I can be awarded my Masters Degree, finally. Then I might be looking for a job so if anyone is looking for a Registered Dietitian...you know where to find me.

Getting on TRACK

2010-01-19T14:39:00.000-08:00

First of all, what a day for Team USA Minnesota at the USA 1/2 Marathon Championships. If you haven't heard about it, read about it here: http://downthebackstretch.blogspot.com/2010/01/vega-wins-usa-half-marathon-smyth.html
Way to go VEGA!!!

I was also at my first indoor track meet of the year. Not to run, just to watch Heather in her first tune-up as a new team member. My tune-up will come this weekend at the Jack Johnson Invite where I will, as in the past 2 years, run the 3k. I guess I haven't really updated on how running has been going. To say the least, I am still grinding it out. I have asthma, I have inflammation in my airways from the asthma, and running hard is just making it worse. It is hard to know what the right thing to do is. I am treating it properly, but then just abusing the heck out of my lungs with each workout. I can't be ready to race if I don't workout, but at the same time my lungs can't heal if I keep working them as hard as I do during training. Each day I just hope that it will be the day that I don't feel the inflammation anymore, but yesterday's track session just ended with me in a wheezing heap on the ground and it was only 400s. All that means to me is that I will try again on Wednesday, again in the race on Saturday, and again and again until I can finally be the runner I know I am capable of being. The commitment to beat this is there, but some days can be pretty frustrating and scary.

With that said, I fully intend to show up in Spokane, WA on February 13th to defend my US XC title and again on March 13th in Jacksonville, FL to defend our US 15K team title. I am inspired by the performances of my teammates this weekend and it helps me realize that Dennis knows what he is doing. Just stick to the plan and good things will happen.

Oh yeah, to finish up let's not talk about football anymore. I am not even going to pick a Superbowl team because I will probably just jinx them. I will say, however, that there was a hilarious segment on SportsCenter today featuring the Vikings, Brett Favre, and Wrangler Jeans. I cannot be a Vikings fan, and unfortunately cannot love Brett the way I once did, but this was pretty funny. If I hadn't already done so much trash talking in the past, I would consider letting myself cheer for them and Brett, but the hole was been dug too deep. Oh well, here's wishing for next October to be here already!

Black Monday

2010-01-11T10:32:00.000-08:00

Well my heart took a big hit last night. Packers...one and done. The game could not have started any worse but the Pack made one heck of a comeback. It was one of the most exciting games I have ever watched and will probably go down as one of the best playoff games ever. Still, I would appreciate it much more if we would have won. My heart is broken, but it will heal. My new playoff team for 2010? I am going to back the Ravens. Ray Rice, baby. Plus, I love watching the Patriots lose :)

So how could my Monday be made worse? Well, $2 Mocha Mondays are done at Caribou :( I was getting excited for a dark chocolate mocha on my run this morning only to arrive at Caribou and find that they were no more. Sure they still make mochas, but I am not paying 4 bucks for it. Dollar coffee for me...black.

On the running front, things are getting slightly better. In case I didn't comment on it, my appointment with the doctor at the Mayo Clinic went well. The first test I did was an exhaled NO test. Very easy, just blow into a tube for 10 seconds. Unfortunately I had to be fasted for it. The test was at 8am, but I still found myself quite ravenous and I had a slight headache because I didn't have my morning coffee. Luckily it went quick and I was sipping some hot joe before 9am. Next came the allergy testing. That was fun, getting pricked about 40 times up and down my wrist and forearm. Then I had to sit there for 15 minutes and not touch it. At first nothing happened, then one side of my arm started blowing up and getting real red and itchy. The nurse had to measure each of the bumps and it turns out I am very allergic to grasses, trees, weeds, etc. Fortunately I am probably not allergic to my house, or my dog Moses.

Then I went to meet with the doctor. I was very pleased because he spent a lot of time with me explaining everything and getting all the details. Based on the NO test, it was apparent that my lungs were very inflammed and I was diagnosed with poorly controlled asthma. Basically it confirmed that I had been running with untreated asthma for about 8 months. Yeah, that was a lot of fun! We are trying out some new medications but nothing is working very quickly yet, most likely because I am still working out pretty hard and breathing in either dry or cold air constantly. I think the most recent medicine we are trying is starting to work and I should be seeing some positive results soon.

I look forward to being able to breath normally again. I have been dealing with this for too long and my major competitive season is approaching quickly- US Cross Country and the US 15k championships, and hopefully World Cross in Poland. I have a few titles to defend, one individual and one team, and I would like to be nearing my peak form in the next month or so. We are preparing for a heat wave here in Minneapolis so that should make training a little more tolerable. Unfortunately I think we are stuck with this rocky ice until March or April. Seriously, it is like running over a glacier most of the time. Now I think I know what it was like for my dad when he ran the Antartica Marathon! As always, we are making good use of our resources here and I think we will survive another winter.

Officially Done (unofficially)

2009-12-18T06:56:00.000-08:00

It happened without me even realizing it. As I was hiking the 1.5 miles to class on Wednesday I realized that I was on my way to my last class...ever. Aside from the one semester I didn't have class because I was doing my dietetic internship, I have been going to classes every year, every semester for the past 20 years. In 45 minutes that all came to a close. (The class is supposed to last 1hr 55min so it was a real treat to be done so early.) The odd thing about it was that I wasn't really excited or proud or anything any different than usual. I sat in the back, ate my sandwich, pulled a few split-ends, and it was done. The unofficial thing about it is that I still have a couple of reflection papers to turn in before it is finished. Oh yeah, and that whole 'finish the master's project' thing is still on the to-do list. So that is probably why I am not too excited yet. But, for the time being, it is nice to know that I will never have to go to another collegiate level class. 20 years! Wow, it is has been fun and enlightening but it is time to start living life! Time to put all of the knowledge and skills I have garnered to good use. Here is a link to one of the projects I did for a course this semester: Non-prescription Orlistat: Weight-loss "Alli" or Another Quick-fix Pill?

Running. It is still happening. Not at the pace I would like, but I am surviving day by day. The good news is that I am headed down to the Mayo Clinic before Christmas to get some testing done and see if it is something that is treatable. Another perk that comes from living in Minnesota is access to such a great health facility. What isn't a perk? The cold and snow. Luckily we have only had a little bit of both. The snow at its current level is actually manageable right now and the temperatures are become milder. We are in the 20's again! I am not naive, though. I know that could change in a second and I am ready for it this year. New gloves, facemask, the works.

Oh yeah, bad news. The Brownie Squad was eliminated in the first round of the playoffs. It was devastating. There I was watching the Packers game with the usual suspects and I was happy to see them win but Aaron Rodgers was having a horrible game and I knew it was costing me big points. His worst fantasy performance of the season by far. Luckily my running backs had great games and the Philadelphia D/ST was stellar, but I just couldn't match my opponent, who I think had a lucky week. What else can you call it when your kicker scores 19 points?!? Mine scored 4, and that is pretty much his average. The worst part about it was that if I had started my backup QB Tony Romo instead of A.Rodg I would have won. But that thought never even crossed my mind. I would never take Rodgers out unless he was injured or on a bye week. Like my dad always says, 'You don't mess with Mr. Rogers'. (He was talking about the real Mr. Rogers, but the message still stuck.)

I usually heed my dad's advice because it has never steered me wrong. Except of course for that one time I was a freshman in high school and he told me I should try out for volleyball instead of cross country because he thought I had a future in volleyball. Good thing we changed our minds about that one, eh dad? Other than that, he is usually right which is why I always want to be on his team for Trivial Pursuit. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Well I am pretty excited to head home for the holidays, albeit for a brief stay. First I have some loose ends to tie up here, starting with these last few papers. I will be sure to let all know when my unofficial MPH becomes officially official.

Christmas Music

2009-12-11T13:23:00.000-08:00

I am sitting at Caribou now and should be finishing up finals, writing papers, etc. but instead I am streaming Christmas music on Pandora. I stopped listening to 102.9 Light FM for multiple reasons, the first being that they overplay a lot of songs, many of which I cannot stand. What song is #1 on that list? Well, that would have to be "Christmas Shoes". It is a sweet song, but I only need to hear it once a year. Beyond that it is just overkill. My main issue with it is that it is just too catchy. Try running 1200m repeats with it stuck in your head...not good. Furthermore, and I apologize for the following comment, but children singing creeps me out for some reason. I don't like it. Another reason I cannot listen to Light FM anymore is Delilah. When her show comes on the radio comes off. Can I just get some music? Jeez there is way too much of her talking and not enough awesome music.

That brings me to my next topic. Do I have a favorite Christmas song? I can't say I do, because I like a lot of them. After seeing Martina McBride in concert with my dad about 7 years ago, I am in love with her version of "O Holy Night". Yep, that one qualifies as awesome. But if forced to choose, I think I would have to go with TSO. Don't worry if you don't know what the acronym is for- I didn't either. TSO, aka Trans Siberian Orchestra. That's the stuff right there. If forced to choose a song I think it would be Christmas Eve In Sarajevo. You cannot listen to this song and not get pumped up. It is definetely going on my iPod to get me moving on those really tough runs. If I can channel this song into my head during future races, there is bound to be some definite a** kicking. Just saying, watch out. Just so you know what I am talking about, here are a few videos combining the beauty of lights and music to create the magic that is Christmas. The videos start from big to small, with the last one added in there because it was shot in Hurricane, UT where we stayed during our visit to Zion National Park. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dsvD1Ai5QY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDH-yhpoz4I&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2r-LUKn17Q&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1WNAd2EYsM

Tis the season...for bloody knuckles

2009-12-09T13:56:00.000-08:00

Well winter is officially here as today we "celebrated" our first treadmill workout of the year. Dennis must have predicted the snow in advance and managed to work us out twice on Monday when the conditions were still manageable. The morning started off at Pike Island in Fort Snelling where we do 10-15k threshold runs on a 5k loop. It is probably my favorite workout to do because it is a nice trail and very beautiful. Lots of deer and even some wild turkeys (interesting we didn't see any the week after Thanksgiving...). The warm-up was short in part because it was cold and in part because we had another workout on the menu that day. After recovering with a $2 dark chocolate mocha from Caribou it was already time for workout 2: 12x200m hills. Never did a 200 hill before. Did a 100 (manageable), 300 (really dislike) and even a 600 (not as bad as I thought), but never a 200. I've gotta say I didn't love the workout. Running harder than I wanted to combined with cold air made my lungs real mad at me, but I survived the workout and, thanks to Meghan, the cool-down.

On Tuesday the snow came in. I lazed around all morning (I was tired from staying up to watch the Packers football victory ;] ) so I didn't actually get out the door until about 11am. By the time I thought about doing a second run the snow had already accumulated to an unsettling amount and I decided to stay in and eat popcorn chicken.

That brings us to today. Was there a blizzard in Minneapolis? No. Was it too snowy to do a quality workout outside? Yes. Therefore we decided to run over to LifeTime Fitness and do our 10 mile subthreshold on the nice Woodway treadmills. I'm not going to lie, the warm-up was horrible. Blustering winds kept blowing snow straight in our faces and my eyelashes started to freeze shut. I wasn't too pumped about doing a workout anymore, but I knew I would be happy once it was done. And I was. It wasn't a bad run besides the one inevitable downside that comes with running on the Woodways: bloody knuckles. As I type my third knuckle is bubbling slightly from the gashing it took on the treadmill this morning. I am too nervous to run on the back half of the treadmill so I run too close to the front bar and smash my knuckles against it at least 5 times per run. I expect it to happen, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I know this will be just the first of many workouts on the treadmill so I guess I had better try to build up my tolerance to it.

Unfortunately for the time being my mind is programed to release expletives upon impact, which isn't good for anybody near my vicinity. I really don't like cursing. It just happens in this one circumstance. I think maybe I just need one of those foam pads that used to be on the crossbar of boy's huffy bikes so that it wouldn't hurt as bad if they crotched it. I bet it didn't help much in that situation but I could probably find a good use for it on the treadmill.

Friday will be our first workout in the dome. Not the Metrodome, but the Augsburg dome which we jokingly call our altitude training center. In reality it is just a turf football field with a big white dome over the top. As much as I joke about it, it is a useful facility to have in the Minnesota winters. This year I will try to make my peace with it and hope to have a good winter season of training.

On a final note, I managed to make the playoffs in my fantasy football league. Most of my players started off real well but have kind of hit a slump. Losing in the first round will put me in a real sour mood before Christmas so let's just hope that my athletes can put their acts together through these last three weeks of the season.

Zion National Park

2009-11-21T12:26:00.000-08:00

Great news on Monday morning- Dad was alive and moving! Mid-morning/ early afternoon we went on our way to Hurricane, UT which was about a 2 hour drive through Vegas. Although not thrilling, it was slightly more exciting than the drive down I-94 from Minneapolis to Milwaukee. I was a little sleepy, but got a big stick of beef jerky and a liter of Diet Mountain Dew and was ready to go!

So we got into Hurricane- kept a mental log of the In-and-Out Burger and Walmart that we passed on the way in. When we got to our hotel there was not a single car in the parking lot! The pool was not much bigger than my bath tub and there were leaves floating all over the top, but there was a mini-golf course in the back! Unfortunately we didn't have enough time to fit a game in. Monday we went for a drive with Gwen's parents through Zion National Park. We saw a lot of wildlife up close and personal. We watched a buck scratch his head on a twig for like 5 minutes. It reminded me of how Moses rubs his ears on the couch, my suitcase, anything to get at his itch. We also saw a beautiful sunset fall below the endless mountains in the park. I couldn't wait to get hiking. That night we had a pre-hike meal and a nice little diner. It reminded me a lot of a Perkins, but soooo much better. Homemade soup and pies and just good food in general. I had my first pie of the season- Harvest Cream. It had the most delicious spiced whipped cream on it, and I am not normally a whipped cream fan.

Okay, so now for the real stuff. We got out of the door on Tuesday a little later than I would have liked but still early enough to beat most of the other hikers. Dad and Gwen dropped me off at the hike I really wanted to do while they did some shorter hikes before their big one. Just before 9am I started off on Observation Point: http://www.zionnational-park.com/zion-observation-point-trail.htm
Peak is at 6508 ft. with 2148 ft. of ascension. It didn't start off too bad and early on I got to walk through a level area which was Echo Canyon. I thought I was lost, and I did get lost for a few minutes, but eventual found the trail again. I didn't know at the time that this was called Echo Canyon, but I did figure out that it echoed! About half-way to the top the climb got pretty steep and the sun hit me pretty hard. Of course I was obsessed with making good time and had already lost minutes through getting lost and taking pictures that I just plodded through, eventually passing a few other hikers on the way up. Finally I made it to Observation Point in about 1hr 20 minutes. I was the only one up there and it was so peaceful (except for the chipmunks trying to get into my bag!). I spent about 20 minutes taking pictures every which way and trying to take self-portraits without falling off the edge. I tried to put the pictures on Facebook but it didn't take so I will set up a separate gallery soon and link to it. I didn't want to leave, but I knew I had a long descent and I wanted to try to catch dad and Gwen at the next hike: Angel's Landing.

I did the descent in just over an hour, running parts of not only to make good time but also because it was a steep descent and tough on the back/butt muscles. Once I got to the bottom I had no time to rest. I had to run 1.3 miles over to the start of the Angels Landing hike. It was at that point that I realized my shoes were filled with massive amounts of sand. I stopped at the car when I got there to see that dad and Gwen had started the hike approximately 50 minutes ago so I poured the sand out of my shoes and set of running towards the next hike. I was really surprised on how steep this one was from the get-go. I tried to run parts of it and just put my head down and plowed through. I would have time to take pictures later. I think it was about 30 minutes into that I was still going up some steep points but starting to pass other couples. Then I saw some familiar hats ahead. I got a few feet behind them and gave our secret conch call, which just so happened to be those annoying Viking horn calls you hear during the football games. http://www.kansasviking.com/downloads/VikingHorn.zip
Angels Landing: http://www.zionnational-park.com/zion-angels-landing-trail.htm
Although steep, the first 2 miles of Angels Landing wasn't too bad. Unlike the Observation Hike trail, this one was almost completely paved, which I was kind of happy about because I still had sand in my shoes from the previous hike! It was pretty cool to go up the 21 switch-backs called Walter's Wiggles that take you to Scout Lookout, where we had lunch. I promised dad and Gwen that I would make it time to have lunch with them, so I was glad I could keep my promise :). We needed to fuel up for the strenuous last 1/2 mile of the trail is very narrow with steep drop-offs. There are anchored chains in the rocks that are there to help pull yourself up (or down) and are the only symbol to tell you that you are actually following a real trail. It took awhile to get to the end point but again, it was totally worth it. My Facebook profile picture is taken from the top of Angels Landing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUV5Drd4Hsg

All told we spent about 8 hours hiking in Zion. I have run some pretty tough races and some pretty long runs, but I was wasted at the end of this one. I had probably hiked/ran between 14-15 miles and been exposed to the sun all day long. All I wanted to do was jump into the Virgin River, but didn't because I knew it was going to be really, really cold. I settled for just putting my feet in for a few minutes, which actually made a big difference. Then all I wanted to do was sleep. Unfortunately we knew that if we went back to the hotel we would be done for the night, so instead we headed straight for the In-and-Out Burger! I don't really remember eating it, but I remember it being real good. I don't eat fast-food often, but I like eating at places that I can't go to at home. Plus, I think we earned this one. I knew I was going to be hurting for days after this, but I can't wait until I get to go back to Zion and do it again. All in all, this was one of the best vacations ever and I am so glad I got to share it with the most important people in my life. Keep your eyes open- pictures to come.

Michael "Silverman" Brown

2009-11-16T11:15:00.000-08:00

So Day 2 was simply a race prep day. I got owned by my first run in the desert, but turns out that was partly due to the fact that I was running uphill the whole way out. Made the return trip quite pleasant. We were out at Mead Lake and I eventually found a nice dirt trail that slightly took me up in the mountain looking down on the lake. It was my first of many glimpses of beauty.

Sunday was an early wake up call to get dad down to the swim start. It seemed like a beautiful day to race and dad seemed ready to go. Much better than I am before races! He had a great swim, finishing the 2.4 miles in 1:01.24. He came out of the water real early and we were really excited to see him. Sent him off on the grueling 112 mile bike and then it was time to kill some hours. I went for a run and got lost. Had to go into a casino to ask for directions only to discover that there was no pedestrian way to get where I needed to go. So basically just had to go back the way I came, which was just as sketchy as it was on the way out. Then I watched the Packers suffer an embarrassing loss to a previously winless team.

Then it was time to go find dad on the bike. I waited at the transition area and was pretty nervous the whole time. You send the guy out there for hours and have no idea if he is okay or not. Luckily Gwen texted me when he was 22 miles out and he had made the cut-off time for that portion of race. It was a tough leg for him though, spending over 8 hours on the bike. I am so proud of him for that. Not many can withstand that type of punishment. I saw him at the run transition and told him exactly what he needed to do to finish the race before the cut-off time. 17:00 minute miles. He smashed that. He really ran a great marathon after over 9 hours of intense work and over 114 miles covered.

We got some dinner and by the grace of God ran into him at the exact time he was passing the transition for the second loop. The probability of that happening was probably less than the probability of me winning money on my first pull of the slot machine. He looked good and I knew he was going to finish it. When I saw him coming down the shoot I was so proud and just overjoyed that he was able to accomplish his goal. I wonder if he felt the same way every time he saw me finish a tough race over the years? He had trained so hard for months, despite having to work full-time, remodel the house, etc. What was even better was that both sides of the family were there making one massive support team: my grandma and grandpa and uncle Steve, Gwen's mom, dad, sister, niece, and nephew. I know they probably thought he was crazy, but I could see how impressed and proud they were too.

At mile 15 dad was craving some KFC, but by the time it was all done I think he just wanted the bed. So that's what we did; back to the hotel and some much needed shut-eye. After all, we had to get ready for the big hike in Zion! More to come on that. I leave you with just a little bit of symbolism: Dad did his first Ironman distance triathlon while I was in my first semester of college and he did this last one while I am finishing up my last semester! I asked him to please not do anymore because I really don't want to go back to school!

Love ya dad, and great job!

Day 1: The Stratosphere

2009-11-13T12:23:00.000-08:00

After a quick commute from the airport I arrived at our condo just a few miles down from the Strip on Las Vegas Blvd. I dropped my things down, said "hi" to everyone, and then we took off for the Stratosphere Las Vegas Hotel and Casino. We made our was through the casino maze and over 100 floors up to the thrill rides. At 1,149 feet, it is the tallest observation tower in the US. We decided immediately that we wanted to go on all 3 rides. My dad, uncle Steve, and myself went on 2 of the 3 and my dad's nephew Tyler joined us on the 3rd one.

Ride 1: X-Scream
A giant teeter-totter that propels you 27 feet over the edge of the Tower, 866 feet above the ground. I am not going to lie, this one is terrifying and the one that I enjoyed the least. This is what it looks like:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLKSo7ejmrQ
P.S. You are held in by a lap bar only, no shoulder straps, nothing. Not a fan. My legs were shaking when I got off the ride.

Ride 2: Insanity
A massive mechanical arm extends 64 feet over the edge of the Tower and spins you at a force of 3 Gs for a truly mind-bending experience. This ride was awesome! However, I was REALLY nervous about going on and almost backed out. Why? Again, held in by only a lap bar. INSANE!!! This is the one Tyler went on with us and I think it was everyone's favorite by far.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kgiZktWzJ8

Ride 3: Big Shot
Shoots passengers straight up 160 feet at 45 mph (over 4 Gs) until they are 1,081 feet above the Strip. The force was so extreme and then you just drop straight down, which seemed even faster. I wish you could have seen my fact in the picture they took. I definitely needed my albuterol after this one. At least this one had a shoulder harness.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vay_fS9BYSc&feature=related
-Please ignore the expletives in this one, it was the best video I could find.

As tired as I was (it was past midnight central time) it was totally worth it. These rides were awesome, and surprisingly there were no lines!

What time is it?

2009-11-12T10:19:00.000-08:00

Let's just pretend the last month didn't happen. Yes, there were events to write about, but I don't intend to play the catch-up game. Let's just start from scratch.

As many may know, I was in Las Vegas this past week to support my dad in his quest to become a Silverman. I am very proud to report that Michael "Mad Dog" Brown has accomplished this feat and has now finished two Ironman distance triathlons. More on this later. I will just briefly note here that I am back home after accomplishing something pretty unique in its own right. Today I spent at least 1 hour in each time zone in North America. I started off in Hurricane, Utah (Mountain Time) and drove to Las Vegas, Nevada (Pacific Time). From there I flew to Detroit, Michigan (Eastern Time), and finally made it home to Minneapolis, Minnesota (Central Time) before midnight.

It was an awesome trip and I wouldn't do it justice if I wrote about it all in one post. Therefore throughout the next few days I will give a day-by-day account of the trip, complete with pictures. Day one will start off with our adventure atop the STRATOSPHERE! The next day will detail dad's Silverman race. The final day will tell the story of my hiking quest in Zion National Park. I know, the suspense is killing you, but you will just have to wait. Trust me, it will be worth it.

MinneSNOWta!

2009-10-12T19:17:00.000-07:00

That's right, there was significant snowfall today and it is only October! I woke up today to a white lawn and a snow covered car...and it was still coming down. Luckily today was my crosstraining day, but that meant clearing off my car- which I hate! Looks like we may still get more this week, but should be back near 60 for the weekend? I haven't been minding the chillier weather, but snow is a little much.

I won my fantasy football match-up this week. Thankfully Romo didn't suck too bad as my main man A.Rodgers was on a bye week. Tomorrow I am going to the doc to get some more testing on my breathing. I have been running for over 3 weeks now with no significant impovements. Tomorrow will be more like a field test where I get examined, go out for a hard run, then get examined again. I hope we figure something out, even if it isn't great news, because I am sick of not knowing what is wrong.

School isn't slowing down and even though it isn't that busy, I get to the end of the day and realize that I haven't accomplished anything besides getting my runs/workouts in. I know that is my main job, but it just leaves me with no energy left to do other things. Although I have been able to combine school and running. I am wearing a pedometer and another type of physical activity monitor as part of an exercise for my Nutritional Epidemiology class. Basically we are supposed to be assessing respondent burden with these devices and see if there are any activities that may not be picked up by the devices. It is interesting wearing my pedometer on runs where I log like 10,000+ steps, which I think is underestimated because apparently there are 2000 steps in a mile but I am running at least 10. No matter, the funny thing is those are about the only steps I take! The rest of the time I am lying on the couch watching football or reality tv.

Well like I said, it is off to the doc tomorrow morning then I have to try to get a bus load of papers graded. Must...be...productive. Then Jacenta is coming over for a run, dinner, and a movie. Can't wait!

Minneapolis = Sports Mecca of the World!

2009-10-07T18:55:00.000-07:00

Well, at least this weekend. It has been a BIG week(end) in sports for both Wisconsonites and Minnesotans. Started off with the WI vs. MN battle for Paul Bunyan's Axe in college football. I was at the game in 2003 when Minnesota retook the axe (turns out it was for the last time). It must have been fun to watch the game in the new stadium, but still a heartbreaker. Was I even a little bit proud that my home state won? Nope. To put it bluntly, I am not not a Badger fan at all, I think most people know why. I used to be when I was younger, but since 2002 I have been a Gopher for life.
Next up was the Twin Cities Marathon/ 10 mile. Josh Moen ran awesome and put in a gutsy move on Abdi right when they went by us at mile 8. It was pretty awesome and although Abdi got him in the end, Josh ran a great race and looks ready for the NYC marathon. Antonio also had a great 2nd marathon, and he deserved it after the way the conditions treated him at the 2008 TC Marathon. Congrats guys. Kristen had her debut in the marathon and I thought it was really impressive. It was the women's US Championship and she came in 3rd in her first marathon! It was a great run and I am real excited for her. Michelle ran a tough race especially considering the interruptions that came into her training. She still got a "B" qualifier for the marathon trials and will be ready to roll again for another spring or fall marathon.
Monday night, Oct. 5th was a night many have been waiting for since Favre came out of retirement...for the second time. Nobody can deny it; the man is playing good football. It was no different Monday night. I HATE when we, the Packers, lose to them, the Vikings, but I have to admit that it was a little more tolerable knowing that they needed Favre, the quarterback they have claimed to hate for the last 15 years, to do it. We will get them in Lambeau. Favre hasn't shown to be very tolerant of cold weather in the last few years.
Finally Tuesday was a big night in Minneapolis. The Twins managed to battle themselves back into position to take the AL Central title. To do so, they would have to beat the Tigers in a one game playoff at the Metrodome. It was a very exciting baseball game, for once, and even though it took extra innings to get it done, the Twins are in the playoffs! (Unfortunately they lost game 1 to the Yankees tonight).

So that is it for the the big sports week for now! I noticed I have not been good about updating this blog so I will say this: check it once a week and I will try to have at leat one new post. In the meantime, check this out: http://www.flotrack.org/videos/play/201994

Change Your Mind- It may just make your day!

2009-09-28T09:03:00.001-07:00

Kate, Brea and I went to a bar in St. Paul to watch the Packer game yesterday. It was great! It was filled to the gills with Packer fans and every single tv had the Packer game on. We should have gotten there earlier, but we still got to enjoy the game and the victory. Next Monday is the big day though (Packers @ Vikings) and I think we will be staying in for that one. There may be some violence breaking out and I prefer the safety of my own home (it also saves me the walk of shame in the rare case that we lose).

Saturday was a beautiful day for the Griak and we had some great performances. My brother was in town again, this time with the La Crosse XC team that he coaches. His star freshman got the win and the team easily took the title. Hassan dominated the men's race and Duwell ran a really gutsy race for her own Griak title- the first since Rasa did it about a decade ago! Unfortunately they couldn't pull off the team titles, despite strong performances all around.

I was barely able to drag myself across the golf course for all of those races but luckily my one week of running is starting to pay off, maybe just a little bit. I have been running for just over a week now and it is coming together pretty slowly. I am enjoying the easy miles, but I am still having a really hard time breathing normally on the easiest of runs. It is very disconcerting but I just have to keep pushing through. Other than that, everything else is pretty healthy and you have to be thankful for that.

Today was our first cold day of the fall. The winds started to pick up last night and this morning was a cold one. I made up my mind that I wasn't going to run outside because I just wasn't ready to deal with it. Instead I went to the gym and warmed up on the elliptical for 30 minutes. The plan was to then try running for 60 minutes around the short track/on the treadmill. However, I was so cold in my house that I threw on 3/4 length tights and didn't bring any shorts. I was roasting when I got off the elliptical and my motivation for running inside was pretty low. So off I went, into the cold winds of Fridley. Turns out that was the best decision I have made in weeks. I didn't know how long I would make it, but I just decided to go 1-2 miles one way, turn, go another 1-2, turn, etc. Well after about 12 minutes on a busy road I turned onto a bike trail that I had never seen before and followed that until it stopped. It stopped at the head of some gorgeous dirt trails that wound through a wooded area near a park I had never seen before. It was so beautiful with the leaves changing and the perfect dirt for running and little foot bridges taking me over a bubbling stream. I had no idea this place existed and I never would have found it if I didn't change my mind and decide to run outside. This run wasn't necessarily easier than any of the previous runs last week, but I needed it to remind myself of why I love running. I especially love running in the fall and I am welcoming the season change. Hopefully it will bring with it healing and a renewed zest for running, competing, and winning again!

Quality Time with the Taurus (and the family)

2009-09-23T19:32:00.001-07:00

I decided to spend the tail end of my running break back in West Allis ("Stallis") with my parents. That means spending about 5 hours each way sitting in the Taurus. She's a great automobile, but has become less road-worthy in the past year. I started having trouble starting her in the early spring and she stranded me quite a few times. Thankfully, I am not too reliant on my car and managed to get where I needed to be with my bus pass. One day I decided I was going to try to fix her, since we suspected it was the starter. I tried to give it a knock with a hammer or some other hard tool, but I don't think I hit the right part. Instead I decided I was just going to hold the ignition for a good 30 seconds. I did this, then looked under the hood and something was definitely smoking, but I wasn't too concerned. Once the smoke cleared I tried to start it again, and it was like magic. The beast came to life! Ever since that day I had no problems getting her started...

So I got to Stallis in one piece and spent the afternoon with my dad. He accompanied me on my first run back- a nice 50 minute 6 mile route, which I really needed. We visited my grandparents and got some ice cream at my hometown favorite- Oscars. Saturday was college football/ grading papers day. Sunday was 2 hr and 30 min run day! That's right, my dad is in ironman training and I volunteered to join him on his long run. Luckily it wasn't a hard pace, otherwise there was no way I would make it. In any event, my legs were trashed. Thankfully Gwen left us a little early to go home and order the post-run meal: Mama Mia's lasagna with the BEST garlic bread ever! It made the whole run worth it. Now if only the Packer's could have pulled off the win...

I decided to stay home Monday as well. I had nothing to get back for. Dad took a half day and came home to rock out Guitar Hero with me. Dad, you know this- you are not great, but you're not too bad either. With practice, he is gonna be able to rock. We also went mini-golfing and I won by a point, although I don't think that is true. In any event, we celebrated with more ice cream. When I was prepping my car to leave the next day my dad didn't like the sound of my exhaust, so we tried a repair. Unfortunately the Taurus doesn't like being jacked up and when she came back down to the ground, she refused to start. We gave to starter a good knock and she finally came to, but the next morning as I was trying to leave the gas station she was having none of it. We had to have her towed back to the house and I was extending my Stallis stay by another day. Got a new starter, put it in, and sure enough we are back in business. Thanks Dad, you are pretty good with cars.

That day I also got in a good run in the rain, but think I broke my Ipod in the process. Oh well, it will be good mental training to run without. I also got to spend some quality time with my dog, Moses. He is like 13 and 1/2 now and I am starting to feel bad for him. I know he is happy, but life has gotten tough for him, especially when it comes to using the stairs! Poor guy, but he is doing it and defying all odds. My brother is also having a pretty tough time. He was in a real bad bike accident this weekend and is lucky to be alive so please keep him in your thoughts and prayers. I talked to him tonight and apparently he is recovering really well and I will probably get to see him at the Griak this weekend. I am realizing now more than ever how important it is to keep family close, even when you live far away. I love you all and am so happy for the time we get to spend together.

Go Pack Go!

2009-09-14T14:52:00.001-07:00

We'll miss you, Brent. But not really. Luckily for me and Packers fans around the nation, Favre had just a mediocre game and was greatly overshadowed by the dominance of A.P. It was a nail biter but Rodger's and the Pack pulled it off over the Bear's last night. Unfortunately I couldn't enjoy it quite as much because I really needed Rodger's and Grant to have a big offensive game. Why? Because I stupidly decided to play Fantasy Football this year and now I am too competitive to enjoy the games unless my roster is doing well. I was happy to get Rodger's, but now I think it will be a bad idea because I will be mad at him if he doesn't score me points, even if the Packers win. Turns out I should of started my back up QB yesterday. Tony Romo had a BIG day. What's more, I went with the Viking's defense and kept the Eagles on the bench. BAD call. Grr...oh well I will have to satisfy my competitive spirit somewhere else so that I can get back to just loving football.

I am posting this early because I am sure to have a busy night. I have a lot of papers left to grade in addition to my own school work. Plus, we have a Team USA Minnesota meeting tonight that may take up some time. We don't meet that often, maybe quarterly, but it is really good to get everyone together and on the same page. What isn't good quarterly, though, is taxes. I almost missed it but somehow remembered to mail in my quartely tax payments today. Boo! But I guess it is better than making one big payment in April. Also going to watch 4 more quarters of football tonight. I've got one last player to cheer for and it is RB Fred Jackson playing for the Bills. If he can get 4+ rushing TDs tonight...

Back to School

2009-09-09T18:29:00.000-07:00

Yep, back to school. Some may remember it as a really bad movie starring Rodney Dangerfield in a speedo. For me it has been the story of my life for the past 19 years. With any luck, though, this may just be my final semester...EVER! Not that I haven't loved school, but there is very much further to go from here. I don't really see myself as the PhD type and I really just want to get out there and start applying what I have learned. That is actually a really scary thing though. There is no practice in the real world.

I officially start my first day tomorrow. For the first month and a half, I only have to go to one class, which is on Thursday. All my other class are online and I start another classroom based course on October 27. I am also a TA for the sports nutrition course and I have already been grading papers like crazy. It too is an online course and I will have about 110 papers a week to grade! It is exciting though as it it is the first time I have gotten to TA a course.

The summer ended well with my brother paying a visit and a BBQ over at Jenelle's house. Paul and I pretty much just hung out around the house but I am pleased to announce that I finally found something I can beat my big brother in...Guitar Hero! That is right little sisters around the world, I can kick my brother's butt in a video game. I am going to stop bragging there though because he definitely put me in my place when it came to Madden and GTA.

So he agreed to stay on Labor Day and we went to Jenelle and Paul's for a BBQ. Jenelle went to town on the food and Paul grilled up some delicious burgers that were so good I didn't care that I had heartburn for the next 12 hours. It was all capped off with really messy and really tasty homemade ice cream sandwiches! Yum.

So that is about it. Like I said, it is back to school tomorrow. I am feeling a little old on campus these days, and just in general. I took a survey today and in the demographic section we had to select what age bracket we fall in. It was the first time I realized that I cannot check the 18-24 box anymore. I am officially 25-34 and I hate it! Life goes by too fast. Seeing all the new freshmen on the Cross Country team really makes me miss my first year of college. It was so new and exciting. I am proud of how far I have come since then, but I think it would be fun to go back and do it all again. At target I have been encountering groups of new room mates all excited about buying new things for their rooms, apartments, classes. The only new thing I bought for school this year was a single composition notebook. Take that back, I actually bought a utensil carrier today because I am sick of losing all of my good pens! All my SWAG I got through working my dietetic internship is MIA. I am pleased to report that I did find my 'Where's the Beef?' pencil today so I am pretty pumped for that.

As always I am going to try to get to bed early tonight, after Top Chef of course. I am back in my bedroom for now and hope to stay there as long as possible. Thus far the sleep has been good, I've been dreaming a lot, and I am waking up refreshed. Let's just hope the girl upstairs doesn't stomp around her apartment tonight!

Yeah, It's Time

2009-09-03T13:31:00.000-07:00

On the menu today: 10x400 on the track with 1:00 minute rest. A pretty standard workout, and one that I have rocked on occasion. Today, however, I pretty much knew when I woke up (actually knew it all week) that it wasn't going to go well. Not with the way I've been feeling. Doesn't help that I would have to do it alone. Now I know that it is never good to start a workout thinking that is going to be bad, because more often than not it turns out to be bad. But I have known for sometime now that my body is ready to break and even easy runs really take it out of me. I have been ignoring the signs because I REALLY wanted to complete my late summer/ early fall racing schedule. But after talking it through with Dennis and my training partners, I realized I really have no desire to race or even workout right now. I am not in good shape and my condition is only getting worse. While putting my shoes on this morning I flared up the Achilles tendon that has been bothering me for weeks. Normally this would be a sign to back off for the day and not push it, but I brushed it off. I left my house, flats in my hands, and jogged over to the track. About 2 miles in I felt a sharp pain in my back, much like last year when I was running over to the track to do 400s and came home with a sacral stress fracture. Luckily the pain went away quickly, but it was probably another sign that I shouldn't be running this workout.

When I got to the track I did the right thing and just said "no". I hopped on an elliptical for a little while just to be alone with my thoughts. It was then that I decided to give up on the US 5k championships and all the other races I had planned and just take a break now. I know I need this break physically, but even more so I need it mentally. I would say I had two good races this year. The times were sub par, but the placings were good and there were workouts in which I knew I was in decent shape. But it never really came together this year. My breathing problems had a lot to do with my downfall, and they still need to be remedied, but mentally I am taxed. I had a really trying summer and fall last year where I was cross training like crazy, which can actually end up driving you crazy! So even though my body had time away from running, my mind never did. I need that now, so I am shutting my stupid self up and just doing it.

I am getting my beach chair, throwing the shades on and going away to my vacation spot (funny thing is, it is in a Minneapolis apartment). But my mind will be far away from anything running, hopefully. Help me out and if I write about anything running related or talk about running or if you see me running anytime during the next two weeks, just hit me upside the head. Trust me, I need it. But is all seriousness, I think this will be really good for me. It is time to reboot and focus on having a very successful 2010. Thanks for the support, in the good times and bad.

Basset Ears

2009-09-02T20:58:00.000-07:00

Not much to report today. I made some banana bread that smelled great and tasted just as good. Today was recovery and consisted of a couple of sub par runs. I could have survived with or without my second short run, but I did it anyways. No part of it felt great and I was getting a little crabby towards the end. One thing that really annoys me on runs is people with dogs who monopolize the entire sidewalk. I was coming up on a couple with a dog walking towards me and I was preparing to be annoyed, as well as thinking of a path get around them. But I could tell that this was a special dog and I was going to like it. I could recognize those ears from a block away. It was a puppy basset! As crappy as I felt, I stopped and asked if it was a basset. It sure was, and boy was he tiny (accept for the ears!). It brought me back 13 years when we brought our puppy basset in the back of the Jeep Grand Cherokee. I couldn't remember Moses ever being as small as this dog, but he probably was. I miss him as a puppy, but love him just as much now. I would REALLY like to get a basset puppy of my own, but don't live in the right type of home to have a dog right now. Hopefully in a few years, though.

Deep Fried Oreos

2009-09-01T20:10:00.000-07:00

Well I got back to working out yesterday. 6x1200 in the park with 1:00 rest. It didn't really register until afterwards that this was my first workout in a couple weeks, but still I don't think it went very well. I finished and ran ok splits, but it just didn't feel right. Today I came back with 6 miles at subthreshold and was ready to quit after 2. I sucked it up and muscled through, but the pace was slower than usual and it never really felt good. Hopefully this is just temporary and I will feel better when it come time to race. After that, I am hoping all my ailments will go away after taking a good break.

The Minnesota State Fair is in town and I went tonight with Jen, her sister, and Antonio. Surprisingly they aren't sick of me yet! This was my second year going to the fair and I tried not to set my expectations too high. The night started off well with a bottomless cup of milk, which I actually only had one of because one cup of 2% milk is quite enough! Then we saw some horses, followed by sheep that oddly had hoods over their heads! It was pretty weird and there was a lot of bleating going on in there. The noise of the sheep didn't seem so bad once we went to the chicken/hen/rooster/duck/goose coop. Some of those birds were pretty funny looking.

We all had different types of foods such as pork chops on a stick and a deep fried banana split. I opted for a deep fried candy bar since it was the first strange food I heard about at the fair and one I had never tried. I got the deep fried Oreos and actually thought they were pretty good. They didn't exactly taste like Oreos, but almost anything fried tastes delicious (said the dietitian!). I think I am good on the fair for the year and may consider going again next year and trying the latest food on a stick. Now that it is September, it is time to start school again and wait in giddy anticipation for the peak of apple season! I really do love the fall.

Road Trip

2009-08-30T17:24:00.001-07:00

Michelle and Jacob are married! Congratulations to the new Mr. and Mrs. Frey.

This weekend I spent a short, yet very long, weekend in Iowa city, IA. Most of us girls met to run early Saturday morning, then disbursed to our respective carpools for the long drive down to Iowa. I went with my former Gophers Jen and Antonio. Despite making great time, we arrived very tired and very hungry. We checked into our hotel room, made a quick wardrobe change, then headed into town to catch the yellow school bus out to "The Barn." It was a fun bus ride and I am sure that if we drove ourselves, we would have never found the wedding site.
The ceremony was very cute, very short, and very perfect. Michelle, Jacob, and both of their families seemed so happy and so ready for Jacob and Michelle to be married. Once the reception started it became clear all of the "small world" ties going on between guests at the wedding. Just as an example, Alan Webb was a guest who was a friend and competitor of Jacob's in high school. He is dating Julia Rudd, who was one of the first good runners from the state of Wisconsin that I met back in 2001 when we went to the Wisconsin Camp of Champions. It was one of the few running camps I attended and what's more ironic is that our counselor from that summer was also a guest at the wedding!

It was a really great wedding and it was a lot of fun celebrating with all of my teammates without having to worry about running. In fact, I don't think we even talked about running all that much except for reminiscing about the old days and all of the racing we've done in Iowa throughout the years. Before leaving Sunday morning we took a jog down to campus and found the track, which lies directly across the street from the Heartland Inn where we have spent many a night over the past 5+ years. I have a better appreciation for Iowa not. Didn't really enjoy the scenery on the drive down, but it was a cute campus and a really pretty countryside. I wouldn't mind going back, just down plan on making the trip anytime soon.

I have decided to run the US 5k championships in Providence on Sept. 20. That means it is back to practice tomorrow. At least my favorite training partners are back to help easy the transition back into workouts.

My Girls are Back!

2009-08-26T20:24:00.000-07:00

Recovering from the 1/2 marathon hasn't come quickly or easily. Despite not racing a great time, the race still took a lot out of me. I took about a week of just "active rest" and started running again Sunday, but it hasn't been going well. I am going to give it through the weekend before making any decisions.

On Sunday I got to run with Jenelle, a self-proclaimed "retired" runner who still seems to make runs seem effortless as I am laboring. On Monday I got a great surprise when I ran into Ladia just a couple miles into my run. We ran for about an hour together and reminisced about the olden days as Gophers. Yesterday my run went pretty crappy but today wasn't too bad. That is because, for the first time in over a month, I got to run with two of my most favorite people- Katie and Carrie! Katie just got back from racing over in Europe and then the 10k in Berlin and I really missed her. Training with Michelle and Kristen is great too, but they are in full-out marathon mode right now and Missy and Meghan are just starting back up.

My old high school friend, Kate, came over for dinner and a movie tonight. We rented Sunshine Cleaning thinking that it was a comedy. It, in fact, was slightly sad and not as funny as the previews may have made it seem. Nonetheless, a good time. I am so excited that my old friend from Wisconsin has moved here and I hope she stays! Now I have someone to go watch the Packer games with.

I am back to sleeping on the pullout again. I made it for about week in my bedroom but last night my neighbor's constant walking (more like stomping) across the floor made it impossible to get to sleep. Maybe it will help to clean up my room.

I foresee having a tough time getting out the door tomorrow. I really wish I had a desire to train and that my body would agree with me, but that is not the case right now. My hopes are to race the 5k Championships in Providence on Sept. 20, but that may be the last of my races for the fall. Just put too much into the 1/2 marathon and had too much taken out.
Well that's it for now. I am going to bed happy that I have my friends and training partners all back in one place!

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

2009-08-24T21:05:00.000-07:00

The longest of poems written by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, who often wrote while under the influence of opium (I recall once having to do a research project on him). This tale of a mariner's long voyage at sea is what has provided us with the popular metaphor of an albatross as on onerous burden one must experience or carry. Yes, I do remember something from AP Literature class. The question is why am I all of the sudden remembering this poem? Well those who know me best know that I always search to explain confusing or difficult real life situations with metaphors or some other kind of symbolism. In my search for an explanation for the debacle that was the NYC half-marathon, I came up with this:

During the weeks leading up to NYC I was rocking my way through the newly purchased Guitar Hero World Tour (EXCELLENT). There are a lot of gigs and a lot of songs to work through (some favorites = Beat It, Livin' On a Prayer, Misery Business, and Spiderwebs), but finally I made it to the final gig; New Years Eve 2009- New York City. Much like the mariner and his albatross, I saw this as a good omen because, wouldn't you know it, I raced in NYC on New Years Eve 2009 and I was going back to NYC to race again! It seemed to be leading me right where I wanted to go. If only I had known that this was indeed my albatross.

To say the least, I got owned by this gig. I survived a few songs but alas, on the final one I was booed off stage. I had been 5-starin' each and every song up to this point, but this gig was more difficult than I had anticipated. I had practiced a lot and had the necessary skills, but the music and beat were unfamiliar to me and the songs were far longer than those I was used to. Before leaving for NYC, the gig remained undefeated.

We all know now from my previous post how the race went. Indeed my defeat in Guitar Hero was an omen for failure in NYC. However, upon my return I experienced an event that equates to the albatross falling from my neck. I plugged in GH to see if I could beat another song and as my career was loading, I received an 'error' message. It said that there was a corrupt file on my memory card and asked if I wanted to erase it. I had worked very hard to get where I was in my career, but perhaps it was time for a fresh start. Erase.

Much like the songs of the NYC gig were unfamiliar and unbearably long, I found the pace and the rhythm of the 1/2 marathon to be somewhat unfamiliar and the race itself to be a bit too long, despite possessing the necessary skills and practice to get through it. Maybe this race is my corrupt file, and I can erase it and start rebuilding my career until I am ready to take it on again. No doubt I will be face to face with the beast in the near future, but next time I will know the rhythm a bit better and I will be better prepared to rock it through to the end.

Worst Case Scenario

2009-08-19T08:42:00.000-07:00

What could be the worst case scenario for a diehard Packer fan growing up during the Favre era? How about Brett Favre un-retiring for the second time and signing with the Vikings! At first I lauged at the prospect of it, thinking it would never happen. Unfortunately it is now the cruel reality.
I have lived in Minnesota for 7 years now and I have never once cheered for the Vikings. When Favre joined the Jets, I was a bit embarrassed for him, but he was still my favorite so I cheered for the Jets whenever I got to watch them. But now what do I do?
I've decided to let him go. That is a tough thing to do with a role model, which is why I think it is better not to have any. Then you can't get let down. My only running role model I can remember having was Regina Jacobs, and I think we all know how that turned out. And all those poor Marion Jones fans? Just sad.
Jordan should have stayed retired and Favre should have done the same, but at least Jordan still has his dignity. I fear that when I have kids I will not be able to share with them the great Favre stories of my time because they will only know him as the guy who couldn't quit and was involved for years in a big media circus. So my Favre era is over, and now I am getting on the Rogers train. Good quarterback, good guy. Let's go Pack!

The Implosion

2009-08-17T08:08:00.000-07:00

Implosion: a process in which objects are destroyed by collapsing on themselves.

No better way to describe it. The NYC 1/2 marathon yesterday did not at all go the way I had hoped or imagined. To put it bluntly, it was a complete disaster. It was definitely hot and humid, and the course was tough, but the difficulty I experienced was like nothing I have ever gone through before. It was not a successful race by any means and all I can say is that I am completely humbled by the experience.

Humbled, yes. Embarrassed, very much so. Disappointed, unimaginably. This was the race of the summer for me. The one I really wanted to excel in and showcase my range of talent and I just crashed and burned. So here is a little recap of what happened.

I ran the 10k loop in the park 2 days earlier so I knew it was hilly and challenging and that I would have to try to restrain myself. I tried, but despite holding back the race still went out harder than I wanted and I was right in the thick of it. By 5k I was running just under goal pace, which was a bad sign because I knew it was too hard to be running in the park. I think that is where things started to take a turn for the worst. I was still in it by 10k, a little off pace now, but the legs were heavy, the breathing was not calm, and the doubts started setting in. Not even half-way done and I was questioning whether a finish was even possible.

It took forever to get out of the park, at which point there was about 5.5 miles left. I made it to 8 miles and that was the last time I felt "okay". The pace slowed significantly and it became a matter of survival. It was probably around mile 9 where I started to stop completely at water stations to take full drinks. It was also around this time where I was forced to slow to a walk until I got enough strength to try again. By mile 10 the distance was clicking away so slowly. At 10 it still wasn't that bad, but steps later the situation turned drastically. There was no break from the sun whatsoever. A huge blister was developing on my left foot. I saw another mile marker and I swore it should have been mile 12, but it was only 11. At this point I seriously doubted that I could finish. Never before have I been in a running situation where I couldn't get 2 more miles out of me but each step was so difficult. I walked a few more times. I knew I was going to be nowhere near my goal time but I saw that if I could just manage 7 minute miles, I could get in by 1:18- at least semi-respectable.

One mile left- took forever from there to get to 20k. At 20k, mistakingly thought that .7 miles was less than 1/2 mile. "Hours" later stumble to a sign that says 800m to go. Just about break down there. A decade later reach a sign that says 400m to go. With about 200 left there is some lift in my legs, but still takes seemingly minutes to get across the line, which I reach just under 1:18.

I finished, yes. But I was not in good shape. I still can't explain what went wrong. I should have been able to run 13 miles. I should be in good shape. I had thought and hoped that my breathing troubles were gone. But like I said, it was just a complete disaster. All I can do now is just get back on the horse. I am going to take a little downtime and recover. I've got some shorter races coming up next month which should help me figure out if this race was just a fluke, or if there is really something wrong.

I'm not delusional. I know I have not been racing well for sometime now and that is very disconcerting and scary to me. I want to be back where I was and go forward from there, but it is hard to do that when you don't know what is wrong. I'm not giving up, I'm just holding out for a solution to present itself. Until that happens I've just got to keep my head up and keep fighting. I have to remember that Rome wasn't built in a day and that if I play my cards right I should have at least another 10 good years of running ahead of me. I am an impatient person, but I think this weekend was a tough lesson in what happens when you go for too much too soon. Take it, learn from it, and push on. This is the way I live.

Baby, It's Hot Outside!

2009-08-15T13:09:00.001-07:00

Couldn't sleep very well last night. The room was hot and the pillows were uncomfortable. Eventually I got some REM cycles in and dreamt I ran 1:13.71 which I was sad about. Then I realized that is not even a probable time (since the .71 would actually reflect full seconds) so I am not going to worry about too much. Ran for 30 minutes at around 8:45am. The first 5 minutes started out cool and then the sweat started to pour. At least I know that I will be done racing by that time tomorrow. I am writing this early because I know once I get back from dinner tonight I will probably crash. Got a 4am wake-up call tomorrow and leaving for the start line around 5:30.

Watched the 10k at World's live today. Didn't really get pumped up too much which is surprising. Maybe it was because I knew I wouldn't have to get down to that pace, which is a good thing! I am just hoping for a good solid run tomorrow. I am sure there will be moments of discomfort, but I hope they are brief and fleeting! All in all, as long as I finish it will be a PR. Let's just hope it is one I can be proud of.

New York, NY

2009-08-14T16:18:00.000-07:00

We arrived safely in NYC. Our flight departure was delayed a bit but overall it was a very nice flight. While in the air I enjoyed some delicious Delta spice cookies and an 8oz organic milk box that I spent nearly $3 on! Was it worth it? No, but I need to build the calcium in wherever I can.

Antonio and I were pretty hungry by the time we got to the hotel so we headed up to the hospitality suite for some lunch. As we were leaving, who should I run into but Paula herself! I was at a loss for words so I just smiled and kept walking. Pretty much made my day until I realized that I was going to have to race against her. I guess I should savor that moment since it will probably be the closest I will ever be next to her again!

We went for a run through Central Park- actually we ran the 10K loop that we will be doing for the race on Sunday. It was hot and humid and the loop was definitely more hilly than I would like, but overall I am feeling good and think I am ready to rock. We just got back from a technical meeting/dinner and we were in some pretty fast company on both the men's and women's side. A lot of world and Olympic medals represented there. This is going to be a pretty cool race to be a part of. Everything about the race seems very organized- all the way down to the race numbers. I am not looking forward to race morning as I will have to dress myself in a front and back bib number, THREE hip numbers, and two timing "loops" on my shoes. I will probably be wearing more paper than fabric that day!

Well that is it for NYC: Day one. I am thinking I may go head out and find a black and white cookie to satisfy the sweet tooth that will soon set in.

Spending money like it ain't a thing

2009-08-13T15:12:00.000-07:00

So I've been sleeping on my pull-out coach for a couple of weeks now. Nothing is wrong with my bed or my bedroom, I am just having a lot of trouble falling asleep in there. I tried going back but only made it one night. Last night it took me about 2 hours to fall asleep and when I finally did, I woke up probably 30 minutes later. I went out the the living room, pulled out the coach and settled in for a couple of hours of Roseanne. Since it was so late already, I decided to try and sleep in until 10am so I could get a descent amount of REM cycles. At about 11am I rolled out to the track to drop some 200's then did a little bit of lifting. Saw Roy Griak in the weight room and he came over to wish me luck. Whenever Roy wishes you good luck, you're gonna have a good one so I am pretty pumped to see how the race goes!

Once I got home I decided it was time to go shopping again. Afterall, I really wanted a mini netbook before I left for New York. After waiting on-hold with Best Buy forever, I managed to get them to swoop up the last one in stock and hold it for me. I guess you would say it was kind of an impulse purchase. I have only been thinking about getting one for a few days but I am sure it will be awesome. I always like to have a computer with me when I travel but my laptop is less than a year old and already pretty beat up from all the travel. Plus it is pretty heavy! This mini is less than 3lbs and should last at least 6 hours on battery only.

So yeah, I bought it and then I got kind of nauseus like I always do when I make big purchases. See, I am a saver by nature and have never really splurged on myself so these past couple days of frivilous spending have got me on edge a bit. I guess I am always afraid something will break or get stollen and there goes the money! But I am sure it will be fine and I will love all of my new purchases.

I'm gonna have to try to get to bed early tonight as Antonio and I depart at 7am sharp tomorrow, which means I need to be up by 4 to get to the bus by 5 to get to the airport by 6! Then when I arrive it will just be a short jaunt in Central Park followed by some R&R. I think we might have a technical meeting/dinner that night too. Just remembered I still need to pack! Wish me safe travels and I will get at ya from New York!

Marathon at the Mall

2009-08-12T19:33:00.000-07:00

So today I spent 4 hours at the mall. And not just any mall. It was the Mall of America. Anyone who knows me well could tell you that this is quite a feat for me. I hate shopping and I hate crowds- two things you are sure to get at any mall. But, I was fortunate enough to win a MOA gift card by my performance at the Lifetime Fitness Torchilight 5k, so I felt the need to go spend it. Plus, I met up with one of my best friends whom I haven't seen in awhile and we actually had a pretty good time. We shopped around for a bit before deciding it was time for happy hour. We settled on a Mexican themed restaurant where I enjoyed some delicious chorizo quesadillas and an interesting concoction called a Coronarita. You should be able to decipher what that drink was made of.

After my friend departed, I wasted about an hour in Best Buy trying to decide between two netbook computers. Turns out that both were out of stock, which I was bummed about because I really wanted to use my giftcard towards the purchase and definitely did not want to have to come back. In response, the salesman told me that I could use the giftcard anywhere, not just MOA. Good thing to know, but certainly information that would have meant more to me YESTERDAY.

So, four hours later and a belly full of cheese and meat, I depart for home via a long journey on the lightrail. In my hands are a dress, a jigsaw puzzle, and a hazelnut latte. All in all, not a bad day, but don't expect any repeats anytime soon. I am still trying to wash the scent of Abercrombie and Cinnabon's out of my hair.

The Connection

2009-08-09T14:40:00.000-07:00

After driving to Hudson, WI to meet my grandparents for breakfast (by the way, neither or us live there) I decided it would be a good idea to start a blog so that I can keep my family up to date with my life since it is a rarity that I get to see them. There is way too much to get caught up on when you don't see your family for 3 months, even more in most cases. Plus, I hate talking on the phone and usually the only person I call is my dad once every week or so! Therefore, this blog is for you guys so you know what I am up to and how life is going. It is also for any of my "running fans" who care about how my running world is spinning.

After another lazy weekend I am gearing up for the week leading into my debut at the half-marathon which I will be running in NYC next Sunday. My legs are sure heavy today and I can only hope that they start feeling better each day as I get closer to the race. Wish me luck!